A Journey Through Dementia: Patrick Dare’s Story

At the age of 54, Patrick Dare faced a pivotal moment during his first HR review—and it forced him to confront some uncomfortable truths about himself.

“I had a solid career in IT sales for 35 years, with no real performance issues,” Dare remarked in an interview. But then, he began to notice mood swings, which he described as “a little gross.”

Things took a turn for the worse in the evenings. He found himself yelling at his partner, Tanya, and even his dog. These outbursts, he said, felt out of character for him. Soon, paranoia followed.

He eventually reached a breaking point, leading to an outburst that surprised everyone at work. “People knew this wasn’t how I usually was,” he reflected.

A resident of Queensland, Dare had previously battled severe depression in 2006, which made him concerned that he might be facing another mental health breakdown. However, after several tests, he received a diagnosis of frontal lobe dementia, also known as frontotemporal dementia (FTD), which primarily affects individuals under 65.

Before learning he had this condition, Dare thought dementia was all about memory loss—a misunderstanding that Associate Professor Rowena Mobbs, a prominent expert in the field, emphasizes is common.

Mobbs, aligning with the Think Again campaign in Australia, explained that various conditions could affect cognitive functions and behavior. She mentioned the critical role of Behavioral and Psychological Symptoms of Dementia (BPSD) in complicating cases, leading to falls or hospitalizations. Early detection, she noted, could help individuals maintain a better quality of life.

As of now, more than 433,000 Australians are living with dementia, according to estimates from the Australian Health and Welfare Association (AIHW). Alarmingly, about 29,000 individuals under 65 are grappling with young onset dementia, a number expected to grow significantly in the coming decades.

“It’s alarming to think of the number of new diagnoses of young onset dementia that will occur daily moving forward,” Dare noted, emphasizing that the impact extends beyond the individual to their families.

Support services tailored for these younger patients, like Yod Reflections, are vital, as their needs differ markedly from those diagnosed later in life. An example Mobbs provided was a 32-year-old client juggling family obligations while managing his diagnosis.

In comparing support systems, Dare pointed out the stark difference between dementia care and that for conditions like breast cancer, which often comes with immediate assistance and resources. “With dementia, many are just told to get diagnosed and then figure it out on their own, which can feel isolating,” he said.

For Dare, receiving his diagnosis in 2019 was a mixed experience—simultaneously shocking and a relief. “It clarified so much for me, almost like a breath of fresh air,” he shared. He noted that understanding his condition allowed him to address his behavior better.

After his diagnosis, he still managed to work until 2021, but eventually found the demands overwhelming and chose to resign. Losing his professional identity hit him harder than the diagnosis itself.

“I really withdrew for a while,” he admitted. “Worrying about saying the wrong thing kept me from engaging with others.” However, he soon realized he needed to speak out about his experience.

Now, as a member of the Australian Advisory Board of Dementia, Dare is dedicated to promoting the idea that young dementia patients can indeed find the support they need to lead fulfilling lives. “I describe my brain as a duck on the surface—it may seem normal, but underneath, things are hectic,” he explained.

He has learned to manage his symptoms by setting more realistic expectations for himself, admitting, “I don’t drive in the afternoon anymore; late nights are out of the question.”

Regarding old colleagues, there are no hard feelings despite past incidents. “I still meet them for coffee,” he shared, chuckling. “They jokingly say we’re playing the ‘dementia card’ when we’re together.”