What happens when programming that leans heavily towards feminism unwittingly turns an accused chauvinist into an unexpected star? You get a blend of television spectacle and unchecked populism.
Take a glance at TLC’s schedule, and it’s obvious: the network isn’t trying to attract a male viewership. Shows like “Double Lives of Suburban Wives,” which looks at St. Louis housewives creating adult content, “1000-lb Roomies” featuring severely overweight roommates, and “Sister Wives” showcasing polygamous families, all highlight this focus.
Yet, the standout show is undoubtedly “90 Day Fiancé.” With over 20 spin-offs, including behind-the-scenes, reaction, and reunion programs, it centers on couples from different countries attempting to secure spousal visas in the U.S. This isn’t exactly a portrayal that resonates with conservative men.
Unexpected Fame
The series garners impressive ratings and has birthed countless memes, while pushing strong pro-immigration and feminist messages.
Enter Sarper Güven, a Turkish individual who claims to have had flings with 2,500 women, and keeps a color-coded journal to record these encounters, marked with “X” to indicate the attractiveness of the women.
Throughout the show, his wife appears visibly hurt as she learns about his past. Güven is framed as a sexist in need of redemption. However, he has one major flaw in this narrative: he won’t apologize.
“I never apologize because [it’s] who I am, but I know I make mistakes,” he shared with Blaze News.
Though he frequently acknowledges his errors in efforts to mend his marriage, he has faced relentless criticism on-air and during cast gatherings. Strangely enough, rather than tarnishing his image, these experiences have only inflated his popularity.
Controversial Appeal
This year, Güven embarked on a North American comedy tour that has resonated widely, with sold-out performances, including seven in Toronto alone.
Interestingly, it’s not his past that people can relate to; rather, it’s his tendency to assert himself in an environment that typically encourages subservience. When his American wife made a remark to a Brazilian cast member urging them to “go back to your country,” he stood up for her. That was surprising, considering he’s an immigrant among a cast of immigrants.
Güven managed to question the show’s obvious pro-immigration stance, demonstrating a rare willingness to confront the potential backlash.
“I’m not perfect, not anywhere near it,” he stated from a hotel room in Western Canada. “But that’s me, and if you want to love me, that’s fine. If not, [it’s] your choice. I’m being completely transparent. Maybe that’s what people appreciate, especially men.”
Relationship Struggles
His stand-up comedy resembles a blend of parody and his on-screen persona, yet he insists it’s all authentic.
A significant theme he touches on is how marriage has transformed him, and many men can relate to his observations.
He openly discusses transitioning from a confident flirt to a husband simply seeking “peace.” Güven pointed out, “I don’t hear women using that term ‘peace’ very often. It definitely wasn’t this way in the beginning when I was an alpha male… Now, whatever she wants, we just do because we don’t want conflict.”
Most of Güven’s routine reflects his marital challenges—something his wife isn’t particularly fond of—yet it’s attracting attention outside the show more than he anticipated.
“Anyone attending my performances will find something they connect with,” he said, sharing humorous anecdotes.
“Everything changed post-marriage. I joke that before we wed, even my sweat was sexy! She loved it. Then we get married, and suddenly, ‘Did you eat garlic? Did you shower?’ What gives, girl? I’m the same person!”
Be it his straightforwardness or his cultural storytelling approach, Güven’s refusal to redesign himself for his audience has resulted in significant success. He adds humorously, “If a man were a gadget, we’d probably be like a toaster—simple: put bread in, get toast out. But a woman? That’s more like a smartphone, totally advanced, always changing with new settings and updates, and I’m left figuring out the latest terms and conditions.”
