The message comes from a woman who struggles to sleep at night, up late and restless before dawn.
They are military spouses growing increasingly skeptical of the Pentagon’s language surrounding “preparation, lethality, combat”, which seems to mask profound changes happening behind the scenes.
These women are not just any group; after more than 30 years as military spouses, their husbands have served as service chiefs. Like them, we share a profound concern about our current situation.
Thousands of veterans and military family members have lost their federal jobs, putting their financial stability at considerable risk. The Department of Defense, along with military branches, has been censoring materials related to anti-racism and gender issues. Moreover, leaders are failing to communicate sensitive information securely, which feels like a betrayal to all service members and their families under operational security guidelines.
Our sleepless friends are looking for reassurance, wanting to know that everything is okay.
But it’s not okay. The current administration is redefining military readiness in ways that overlook a crucial element of combat power: the well-being of military families.
Over the last four years, the neglect of military family needs has had real consequences. For instance, military children have been assured that they won’t face barriers to graduating high school due to moving often because of their parents’ assignments—a pressing issue for families who relocate every couple of years.
We celebrated bipartisan support that allowed military spouses to work remotely for federal agencies.
In efforts to assist military children, the Department of Defense’s Military Community and Family Policy Office, in collaboration with Sesame Workshop, has been engaged in initiatives targeting the struggles associated with parental deployment, separation, and loss.
These initiatives, backed by the White House, Pentagon, federal agencies, and bipartisan officials, recognized the connection between resilient military families and effective military preparedness.
The impact of family dynamics on service members’ decisions to continue their careers has been well documented. The annual military family lifestyle survey by Bluestar Family, among others, shows that family well-being is pivotal for retention. When spouses can’t find jobs, when kids face challenges in adjusting to new schools, and when deployments lack support, service members may choose to leave.
We’ve witnessed this reality firsthand. We know uniformed professionals—pilots, engineers, and others—who opted out of their military careers because the strain on their families became overwhelming. We’ve lost influential leaders who contributed significantly to the nation’s strength.
This concern is critical. In a volunteer force like ours, individuals reevaluate their commitment every few years. If Pentagon leadership overlooks these realities, they risk damaging morale and jeopardizing operational effectiveness.
National security isn’t solely about weaponry and tactics. It’s fundamentally about whether those dedicated to serving can trust that their families will be alright when they face danger, and whether these families feel cared for by Pentagon leaders.
That’s why we’re pushing for accountability—not just regarding ongoing issues like SignalGate, but for all ignored signals. Military families are speaking up; military children are advocating. Veterans and military families are uniting to defend their employment, benefits, and healthcare.
We understand that American national security hinges, in part, on how military families are treated. Listening to military spouses is crucial. We must take seriously the uneasy messages from those who have spoken out, even anonymously.
Supporting military families isn’t a luxury; it’s a strategic necessity. We must advance policies that treat military readiness and family readiness as interconnected priorities. Everyone deserves the peace of mind that comes from knowing that America values and supports those who serve and their loved ones.
