Dear Abby: Friendships and Relationships

After moving to a community for those over 55 seven years ago, I became close friends with my neighbor, “Iris,” and her husband.

About five years ago, Iris became a widow. Four years back, I started dating, but my boyfriend and I always included Iris and my other female friends in our outings.

Over time, Iris became friends with “Barb,” a woman from her church who doesn’t seem to like me much. I was okay with Barb being friends with Iris, but I didn’t want to force a connection.

Two years ago, Barb, Iris, and another friend spent a holiday near my brother’s place. During that time, Iris texted me often asking for recommendations for things to do and places to eat.

However, Barb, who drove them around on this trip, ignored my suggestions and sent some unkind texts, accusing me of interrupting her vacation with friends.

I decided to block Barb and texted Iris, expressing my disappointment about the whole situation. Sadly, Iris didn’t apologize.

Now, she and our other friends seem to have distanced themselves from me. They frequently go on vacations with Barb, attend church together, and have lunch at least twice a week.

Should I expect Iris to show me her true colors and thank me for trying? – I’m feeling lonely without friends in Indiana

Dear Missing: It’s unfair to expect Iris to apologize for Barb’s rude behavior and texts. While they were uncalled for, Iris isn’t responsible for them.

It seems you might feel left out since you’re not actively involved in their church group. Try not to take this too personally; not every friendship lasts forever, and it seems yours with Iris may have run its course.

Dear Abby: I’ve been married to my husband for 22 years, but we started dating when I was 18. I deal with multiple health issues.

We haven’t been intimate in four years. Even though we live together, we don’t share a bed anymore.

My husband isn’t interested in having fun or traveling with me. He seems bored and insists on certain things, which frustrates me.

I feel a strong desire to find someone else who can bring me happiness and escape from him. I previously left an abusive relationship before I met my husband. What should I do? – Disillusioned in Connecticut

Dear Disillusioned: I think it would be wise for you to talk to a licensed mental health professional.

Before you consider meeting someone new, reflect on why you accepted an abusive relationship and how things soured with your husband.

Was he always disinterested, or did this change once intimacy stopped?

It might be beneficial to take time for yourself before jumping into another relationship, hoping someone else will make you happy. You need to focus on your own happiness first.

Understanding what went wrong in your past relationship could help ensure you don’t repeat similar mistakes in the future.