Dear Abby: Our daughter-in-law is morally corrupt, selfish and narcissistic. For almost a year, she has been openly public about her infidelity, abusing and belittling our son and two of our three daughters. She has taken countless vacations without her son over the years. When they are together at her house, she constantly degrades him and emotionally abuses him, usually in front of his young daughters.
She tries to meet her boyfriend whenever possible. Usually she texts him and then goes “shopping”. If my son is around and watching the kids, she leaves right away. She has long phone calls with her boyfriend when she is home, even though her children are there.
The eldest daughter knows what’s going on because she tells her father as well. What’s funny is that we all know what’s going on, but his wife thinks no one knows what’s going on. All we can do is encourage her son to hire a lawyer. That’s probably what she wants so she can make him the bad guy. If you have any suggestions, please let us know. — Things I wondered about in Minnesota
Dear Mystery: As a caring parent, I understand why you are upset about the treatment your son is receiving. But nothing will change until he admits that his marriage has been irreparably damaged.
Give him emotional support and tell him to consult a lawyer about his options and responsibilities if he chooses to divorce his wife. He may want to seek custody because what is happening now is not good for the children. You don’t need to provide any documentation, but it may give you an idea of what to do (and what to expect) next. The rest is up to him.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have traveled many times with two other couples who are close friends. Her husband recently passed away, and we plan to continue traveling together. We have traditionally split costs such as condos and rental cars equally, with each couple contributing her third.
I am planning my first trip since my husband passed away. We plan to rent her 3 bedroom condo and a car large enough for all of us and our luggage. They thought I would pay his 1/3 of the cost of the condo because I would have my own bedroom. that’s ok.
I have a question about rental cars. We haven’t discussed how to split the cost yet, but since we only have 5 of us right now, I think it would be fair for him to split the car into 5. I don’t want to cause any friction between us, but I would appreciate your input on how we should split the rental car cost and how we should discuss this. — Uncertain Traveler
Dear Uncertainty: Now that your situation has changed, I don’t think it’s inappropriate to bring up the topic of splitting the cost of your rental car into five parts. They are long-time friends and your point is valid. Mention it the next time you discuss your trip.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
