Preparing for Back-to-School: A Focus on Mental Health

With summer winding down, families are gearing up for back-to-school season. Kids are getting back into their routines, engaging in various activities, and sliding right back into the daily grind. For parents — like myself — it’s a mixture of juggling schedules, organizing snacks, playdates, and filling out forms, all while breathing a sigh of relief that life’s rhythm is returning.

However, before diving into the school year chaos, there’s an important concern that parents should address: their child’s mental health.

Kids require adults who are ready to have conversations with them, who can challenge their thoughts when needed, and, importantly, who can stay present even when discussions become uncomfortable.

According to a recent study highlighted in the Wall Street Journal, Oregon has seen a notable increase in pediatric gender medicine. The rates of gender dysphoria diagnoses and cross-sex hormone usage have soared among minors. Despite being home to just about 1% of US teens, clinics in the state accounted for approximately 7% of gender-related mastectomies for teenage girls between 2019 and 2023.

The statistics are indeed shocking, but behind every number is a child — and I can relate because I was once one of those children.

At 16, I connected with many girls through the Tumblr community who shared similar feelings. We often felt uneasy in our bodies, grappling with issues like anxiety, depression, and isolation. Our stories intertwined in ways that felt incredibly familiar. We supported one another, and many of us even started believing that altering our bodies could alleviate the emotional distress tied to being transgender.

During that time, I was struggling with anorexia; I despised myself and what I saw in the mirror. This is why I’m continually troubled by how adults approached my different forms of pain.

When I confided in my doctors about my struggles with starving myself due to feeling overweight, they aimed to challenge that view. Yet, when I expressed discomfort about my body image, stating that my breasts made me uncomfortable, the narrative shifted dramatically. Instead of questions, I received affirmation that surgery might be the solution. It felt like there was no room for doubt.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t born in the wrong body; rather, I was a hurt teenager searching for understanding and clarity about my pain.

Adolescence is inherently filled with uncertainty. Teenagers often face feelings of awkwardness and loneliness. They seek to understand their identities and fight against societal stereotypes of gender. It’s a time of exploration — and the consistency they think they find might not truly address their underlying feelings.

As we head into this new school year, it’s vital for parents to remember the complexities of adolescence. Kids often feel out of place, trying new things, experiencing failures, discovering new interests, and slowly finding their identities. This self-discovery can extend well beyond high school.

Instead of immediately affirming every identity claim made by their children, parents should engage in deeper, more meaningful dialogues. It’s about unpacking emotions, not just labeling them. Asking “Why do you feel this way?” and “What name and pronouns would you like me to use?” are quite different questions that serve distinct purposes in understanding a child’s experience.

In our current climate, troubled children often encounter new narratives that suggest their dissatisfaction stems directly from their physical selves. Comparable to how previous generations were taught that extreme thinness equates to happiness, today’s youth face the proposition that perhaps the issue lies within their bodies. The foundation for this issue is not merely rooted in social media but in a shared vulnerability among young people.

Therefore, as another academic year approaches, let’s encourage dialogues at the dinner table. Share your own past insecurities and failures, and discuss what you’ve learned from them. The takeaway shouldn’t just be about identity; it should promote a sense of belonging without the need to change oneself.

Above all, don’t rely solely on schools, influencers, or online communities to provide guidance. It’s crucial to stay engaged in your child’s life as they navigate their feelings and surroundings.

The best supplies we can offer our kids for this school year go beyond the typical school items; they include reassurance that they don’t need to alter their bodies or suppress their feelings to be accepted.