Dear Abby

After the recent passing of my ex-wife, she left our two adult children in a house that’s still in her name. My son is managing okay, but my daughter, who frequently works as a model, is really struggling. The loss has been huge for both of them. On top of that, the house is in rough shape and needs permission for any repairs or updates.

I’m in a good place financially after winning a personal injury suit. While the emotional aspect took away my power of attorney for some time, I’ve been supporting my kids during this tough period, contributing tens of thousands for their living expenses and repairs.

However, my girlfriend, with whom I’ve shared my life for several years, is furious. She feels I’m spending funds that could be meant for “our retirement” and accuses me of being too lenient with my kids. Her resentment grew when I was attentive to their needs, and she openly criticizes my actions.

Honestly, I’m really upset that she, having no children herself, doesn’t get why I feel compelled to help. Isn’t it a parent’s duty to support their kids as much as possible? Has my girlfriend overstepped? This is straining our relationship, and I’m worried everything is spiraling out of control. – A good California guy

Dear Good Man

I can’t say I know all the details about your finances or your relationships, and it’s clear that parents naturally want to assist their children. But tens of thousands of dollars is significant. Given the emotional stakes involved, it might be best to discuss this matter with your CPA or attorney.

Dear Abby

I have a male friend who is a lawyer, married to a dermatologist. Whenever he interacts with any healthcare provider, he becomes frustrated and loudly expresses his belief that doctors order unnecessary tests and overcharge intentionally.

As a retired healthcare professional and someone who also uses health services, I know the system can be quite flawed. I’m unsure how to curb his rants. I try to change the topic, but the conversations always circle back to the same frustrations. – I’m tired of listening

Dear fatigue

You’re not obligated to endure his rants. The next time he brings it up, let him know you’ve heard his complaints, but there’s not much you can change. Suggest focusing on something more positive when you’re together. Change the subject.