Dear Abby:
I’ve been separated from my husband for 15 years now. Our two adult children are both on the spectrum. For the last two years, my daughter has been staying with her father. She didn’t want to be part of my household rules, like tidying up after herself, taking care of the pets, or even flushing the toilet.
Now, her dad has a new girlfriend, and I find it hard to be alone with my daughter when she’s around. Additionally, my son is upset, saying he wants nothing to do with his father. He cut ties after an incident when he was 12, where his father hurt him. Now at 25, he still holds me responsible for that. I really don’t know how to bridge this gap. — Defiant Mothers of Pennsylvania
Dear Defiant Mom:
It’s important to remember that you can’t fix a problem you didn’t cause. What you can do is step back from the chaos. Just because someone is on the spectrum doesn’t mean they can’t adapt. Your daughter needs to understand the household rules where she resides. If that includes her dad and his girlfriend, she’ll have to accept it.
As for your son, you shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened when he was younger. If he lives with you and can’t be respectful, it’s time to let him know that he might need to find another place to stay. You deserve to live your life, too.
Dear Abby:
I’ve been driving a shuttle for a decade now. For about four years, one couple has been regulars. Over this time, we’ve consistently given them excellent service, and the wife often thanks me and expresses her appreciation.
I’ve even taken them to the airport during some tough driving conditions. He’s retired, and his wife practices law from home. They have a second place somewhere warm, so it’s clear they aren’t struggling financially. Sadly, my husband covered their fare and left me a $2 tip—a mere 3.17% on a $63 ride.
For me, anything less than 10% feels cheap, unless the person is truly unable to give more. I haven’t brought up tipping with them; I don’t believe in pressuring customers. My typical tip averages around 15%, and often I see upwards of 25%. How should I handle this? — drive easy bargains
For those driving:
Let me be clear. I remember working in the service industry and encountering all types of customers. Some were generous, while others, well, not so much. And then there’s the question of how to treat those who are less generous.
