Dear Abby

Dear Abby: My in-laws have consistently tried to undermine my marriage. My husband is aware of their intentions but doesn’t act. Honestly, I’ve lost respect for him because he claims he stands up to them, but it feels like a lie.

We’ve been in a tough spot, and while he started dating others, I eventually got fed up with his inability to make a decision. He wanted to reconcile, but I laid down some conditions: he needed to confront his family about their harmful behavior, seek help for his self-esteem issues, and finish repairs on our home so we could sell it and escape our neighbors—who happen to be heroin dealers and have disturbed us for years.

He completed the repairs, and after two years of fluctuating in and out of the housing market, I managed to sell the house. Unfortunately, he still hasn’t confronted his family. I often hear them speaking badly about us, and he continues to avoid treatment. I’ve gone through therapy and anger management and have made significant progress, but he is entrenched in his dysfunction and seems indifferent to how it impacts me.

For the first decade of our marriage, I felt like a shadow of my former self. After all we’ve faced, I refuse to be that person any longer. When does it become too much? – At the southern crossroads

Dear Crossing: It’s time to acknowledge that your husband hasn’t changed, and that he lacks the strength to set boundaries with his abusive family. Perhaps it’s been enough all along, and I’m surprised your marriage has lasted this long.

Dear Abby

Dear Abby: How can I manage conversations with friends who dominate them? A long-time friend of mine used to tell great stories, but lately, she takes over every discussion when we’re together. She misses cues, both verbal and physical, that signal it’s time to move on. If someone manages to interject, she circles back to her original topic immediately.

Leaving gatherings often leaves me with feelings of anger and irritation. Is there a way to handle this without damaging a lifelong friendship? – Mutually in the Midwest

Dear Muzzle: I’m afraid it might be challenging. You’ve pointed out that your friend is a great storyteller, but as time goes on, she might be experiencing cognitive decline. This could explain her lack of social cues too. Have her spouse or child noticed any changes in her? It might be worth asking. If the answer is that this behavior is typical for her, it might be best for your own well-being to reevaluate your conversations.