Dear Abby: My girlfriend “Jessica” thinks I cheated on her because I didn’t come home right away when I was given the day off. My grandparents were on vacation. When they go out, they ask me to check on the house and bring the mail and newspapers.
I drove there that day, got things done, spent half the day there, even took a nap in the recliner. Jessica claims I cheated on her when I was just hanging out at her grandparents’ house. To make matters worse, we are expecting our daughter soon and she doesn’t want me to be in the delivery room.
She is overstating everything, I’m not sure if her behavior comes from past relationships as she was in an abusive relationship for 9 years and her ex-husband cheated on her multiple times.
I have been honest and good with her and I don’t understand why she would do this when we are about to have a baby. — Almost EX in Missouri
Dear ALMOST-EX: It would have been considerate of you to call your pregnant girlfriend from her grandparents’ house to let her know you’d be home later than planned. Not doing so is your fault, nothing more.
Her excessive accusations of infidelity may have stemmed from hormonal imbalances due to pregnancy, or, as you mentioned, may be the result of a disastrous 9-year relationship with an abuser.
It’s important to consider couples counseling with her, as she has trust issues. Her desire for you to be present when the child is born may have been said in retaliation for your imagined affair or because she doesn’t want you to see her in pain.
Dear Abby: I’ve been with my current wife for 12 years after a bad divorce. She is a very sweet person. The problem is that I work 40-50 hours a week and do about 90% of the cooking, grocery shopping, and cleaning. She doesn’t work and I’ve told her many times that I need her to help out more around the house.
My wife smokes marijuana every day, sleeps until 3pm and does nothing for me except be nice to me. I come home to a messy house and I have to prepare dinner, tidy up and get ready for work the next day. I think I may have PTSD from my first failed marriage. What should I do? I’ve given up and am going to take care of myself. — I don’t want to get hurt anymore
DEAR does not: You may not have PTSD. do Your self-esteem is so low that you’ve put up with a marriage (for 12 years!) where your wife does everything while you sleep and spends her waking hours in bliss.
Tell this “kind” woman that you need her to sober up and help you. Give her a 2 day deadline. If she doesn’t cooperate, get a lawyer. You may lose money and assets that you gained during your marriage, but it will be worth it considering how long it has been going on.
P.S.: Once she’s gone, stay single for a few years.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and published by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at http://www.DearAbby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
