Dear Abby

My sister-in-law, “Carla,” has a “girlfriend” named “Susan,” but I’ve never met or even spoken to her in the year they’ve been involved. They only communicate via text. Carla mentions they plan to marry when they finally meet, but it seems they keep postponing their plans. I’ve asked Carla about why they can’t talk on FaceTime or over the phone, and her responses are unclear.

Recently, Carla came to help during my surgery. Her husband bought her a ticket, but she opted not to use it because Susan couldn’t travel that day. After my surgery, I had very little assistance, and Carla finally showed up about a week later, without Susan. Just yesterday, she mentioned she was searching for a specific gift card. I probably shouldn’t have asked, but I did, and she told me it was for Susan. This worries me. I don’t want her to fall victim to a scam. Should I step in and help my sister-in-law, or should I just focus on my own family? — Arizona’s Concerned Brother-in-Law

Dear Concerned Bill: Your letter raises multiple alarm bells. It sounds like your sister-in-law might be falling prey to catfishing or a romance scam. A key indication of this is when someone is hesitant to speak on the phone or meet in person. Often, this occurs when the person isn’t who they claim to be. Postponing meetings repeatedly is another red flag. It’s concerning that Carla might be sending money to this “friend,” as scammers commonly request gift cards.

These romance scams are so prevalent that the FBI has a dedicated team to address them. People can file complaints with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. It’s crucial that Carla ceases all interaction with this person and considers reporting them.

Dear Abby: A close family member was recently released from prison after being convicted of child pornography. My husband and I have made it clear he won’t be around our children, no matter the circumstances. This is troubling for my mother-in-law, who insists this decision will “tear our family apart.” She believes that it’s acceptable for the children to be supervised around him. Still, we feel strongly that this choice should not be up for negotiation. While my husband and I are united in our boundaries, she continues to question our stance and makes us feel guilty. What should we do? — Texas Guardian

To all parents: The best course of action is to firmly maintain your position. This relative has demonstrated he cannot be trusted around children. Protecting your kids should be your top priority. Keeping the family intact is important, yet not at the risk of exposing them to potential danger. You shouldn’t carry any guilt for your decisions.