Dear Abby: My father’s wife, Carol, has a real passion for thrift shops. She loves to hunt for treasures, especially if they’re for our 5-year-old daughter, “Liana.”
It’s endearing to see her excitement when she brings home new clothes.
However, Carol’s taste is quite different from my husband’s and mine, and a lot of her finds just aren’t suitable for Liana. I’m talking about things like hot pants, tiny tank tops, a sequined crop top, and a leopard mini skirt.
These outfits definitely don’t fit the school dress code or our standards at home.
We explained to Liana that she could only wear these items at home and even made a “dress-up” box for them. She seems okay with that, but when she’s asked why she’s not wearing her new clothes, she struggles with how to explain this to Carol.
It came to a point where I had to step in and tell my daughter to change back into what we had picked out before heading out.
We prefer Liana to be dressed more modestly, but it feels like Carol just doesn’t grasp that.
How can we keep Carol from getting hurt while still upholding our standards? This is really tough for me. – Midwest modest mom
Dear Mom: I suggest tackling this indirectly. Carol might not pick up on direct feedback, so it’s time to assert your role as a mother.
While you should appreciate Carol’s kindness, it’s important to ensure your daughter isn’t “overexposed” in public.
Consider explaining that Liana’s focus should be on her intellect rather than any attention-seeking outfits. Clearly state that the sequined crop tops, hot pants, and leopard clothes just aren’t appropriate.
You should then return the items you feel uncomfortable with so Carol can donate them again.
Dear Abby: My son is 65, and I’m dating a 25-year-old woman he met in an art class. He keeps telling me she loves him, but I think it’s absurd.
He lives with me, and I’m curious if they plan to move in together. I’m 86, and he’s been living with me for ten years.
I haven’t commented on it, but I’m shocked her mother permits this. Am I just too old, or is this a new thing? – Disapproval in Arizona
Dear Disapproval: You seem to be looking at things from a practical perspective, while your son believes he’s in love.
At 25, she’s an adult and capable of making her own romantic decisions.
She might genuinely care for your son. There are different kinds of love, after all.
Before you draw hard lines, perhaps you should take the time to know her better. Who knows? Over time, she might decide she’s interested in something else.
If you feel strongly about not wanting her in your home, that’s entirely valid. Just keep in mind that your son might choose to move out to be with her.
