Dear Abby: My wife and I had our third child six months ago, but since then, she’s been diagnosed with postpartum depression. Unfortunately, she has also been unfaithful and has now moved out. She’s dating a woman and wants a divorce. Despite everything, I still love her and have forgiven her, but I’m worried about how this affects our other children. She doesn’t seem to recognize that impact, and it feels like she’s not willing to communicate or consider counseling. What should I do? — Distraught husband in Pennsylvania
Dear Husband: It might have been a surprise to discover your wife’s bisexuality, likely adding to the confusion. You have a couple of paths here. First, you could talk to a mental health professional to see if they can provide insights into how postpartum depression might be influencing her actions. Remember, this situation isn’t solely your fault, nor necessarily hers.
The second approach involves consulting with a family law attorney. While you can’t compel her to remain in the marriage, you can make arrangements to ensure your kids maintain a strong relationship with their father.
Dear Abby: I’m in my late 30s, living just across the street from my parents, but things between us are pretty strained. I also have a younger brother, four years my junior, and we’ve been estranged for 20 years. He lives nearby too.
Whenever I visit my parents, they tend to let my brother know and invite him over. I really don’t want to see him—there are unresolved issues from the past that I can’t overlook. My parents wouldn’t figure out how much I dislike this unless they take specific measures. I plan to tell them they shouldn’t invite him when I’m around. If they can’t respect that, I simply won’t visit. I’ve got friends in the area, so I’m not without options. What do you think about setting these kinds of boundaries? Massachusetts Independent
Dear Independents: It’s important to have a candid discussion with your parents. Share the history between you and your brother; make it clear you don’t wish to see him anymore. It’s reasonable to ask that he not be invited during your visits. If they can’t agree, calmly explain you won’t come over this time. Establishing boundaries is not about control; it’s about protecting your own well-being.
