A Reddit user who left his house after learning that a crime had occurred in the house before his wife moved out says he did nothing wrong by not telling his wife about the house’s history. a Reddit user claimed, but a communications expert told Fox News Digital about the situation: It’s much more complicated.
“Aita didn’t tell my wife.” history of the house Did I buy it? asked Reddit user “Pleasant-Tear3205” in a May 6 post on Reddit’s “AITAH” subreddit.
“AITAH” stands for “Am I the a-hole here” and is a site for users to share their disagreements with others and receive opinions and judgments.
In the post, the author, 34, said he bought the house nine years ago because he “just wanted to live in a quiet home on a few acres with my dogs.” (He did not share his property.) )position).
He said he searched for a home for “months” but couldn’t find it.
“lastly, [real estate professional] He asked me if I didn’t mind having it at home. a little history” said Pleasant-Tear3205.
“I said it depends (I don’t want someone showing up with a baseball bat to collect an unpaid debt),” the man told the others.
Instead, they were informed that a murder-suicide had occurred in that house several years earlier.
Unfazed, Pleasant Tier 3205 said, “I didn’t think much about it and agreed to the viewing.” He ended up buying it because it had “four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and is on three acres.”
“The asking price was $481,000, and I knew that was an exorbitant amount,” he said. “The real estate agent agreed that it would have been at least $100,000 more expensive if it weren’t for the fact that a major crime had occurred.”
The man said he made an offer lower than the asking price and “miraculously the owner agreed.”
“Since then, I have only thought a few times about what happened inside the house,” he said.
Five years after buying the house, Pleasant-Tear3205 met 31-year-old “Jennifer,” and they married last year, he said.
“She fell in love with this house the first time I took her there,” he said.
That was until she recently learned what happened there many years ago.
“The other day, Jennifer went to the grocery store and got into a conversation with an older woman. The woman asked where she lived, and Jennifer described the location,” he said.
“Apparently the older woman said to her, ‘Oh, Johnson’s old house? ‘What happened there?’ and explained everything,” the man shared in the post.
This new information did not sit well with his wife. Her wife “came home in a panic.”
“She said we lived in the ‘Old Johnson House,’ and I was confused because I had never heard of that name. Then she told me about the murder-suicide. So I said, I know about it. I didn’t really care,” He said.
“Jennifer’s jaw dropped and she said she couldn’t live in a place where something so bad had happened.”
Pleasant-Tear3205 reminded her, “That’s what she’s been doing for the past year and a half,” he said.
His wife then “boldly ran away from home with a suitcase to live with her parents” and is currently arguing with her husband about selling the house.
“She seems really upset that I didn’t tell her, but like I said before, understandably I didn’t care enough to even remember,” he said.
He posed this question to others. “Should I have said anything about this before she moved in?”
Fox News Digital reached out to Pleasant-Tear3205 for an update.
Etiquette and communications experts told Fox News Digital that the situation is extremely complex and there’s really no “right” answer to this dilemma.
“in the case of with husband [wife] jennifer, it’s not whether he was right or wrong. At the end of the day, it’s because of her personal insecurities or superstitions or because she likes to have her information,” Rosalinda Randall, a California-based civility and etiquette speaker, told Fox News Digital in an email. Ta.
Mr. Randall suggested that his wife might need counseling to help her cope with her anxiety at home, or that hearing the details of the incident might help her calm down.
“Maybe she was able to think about how happy she was before she found out about the incident,” Randall said.
However, her reaction to the news and sudden departure from home may indicate that their relationship may not be as strong as Pleasant-Tear3205 thought. she says.
Since phone conversations have proven fruitless, Pleasant-Tear3205 may consider meeting her at the following location: her parents’ “Maybe include parents in the conversation.”
“A note to parents: Mom and dad, either stay out of the marriage or have a conversation with your daughter about how marriage works,” Randall said.
Pleasant-Tear3205 recommends “determining whether she’s upset because he didn’t tell her or because of what actually happened,” and “finding a way to get rid of any bad vibes that remain in the house.” ” we should aim for.
Randall continued. “In this case, I think she needs to let him off guard by making him understand that it wasn’t really important to him. He was focused on the future, not the history of the house.” It was.”
She also said, “Now that I’ve had time to cool down, pout, or whatever, it’s time to pull myself together and have a grown-up conversation with my husband.”
Without “communicating and listening to each other,” the relationship is doomed, experts say.
Commenters on Reddit took a less nuanced view of the situation.
Many said that it was not a mistake for her husband to buy the house, and that it was not a mistake to buy the house. do not have Let your wife know about the incident.
In the AITAH subreddit, users can reply to posts and post comments such as “NTA” (“You’re not an A-hole”), “YTA” (“You’re an A-hole”), and “NAH” (“You’re not an A-hole”). ). – “There’s a hole here”) or “ESH” (“Everybody’s smoking here”).
Users can “upvote” comments they find helpful and “downvote” comments they find unhelpful.
To date, this post has received over 700 replies, most of which state that Pleasant-Tear3205 is an “NTA.”
“You had that house for years before you met her. It’s not like you were hiding it from her. It never occurred to you because you don’t think about it. Your wife. I can’t advise you on your relationship, but Mr. NTA,” user “Rude_Land_5788” said in the most upvoted comment.
Other users shared similar stories about their homes.
“I also bought a house with a similar history without knowing it. I only found out about it on the first night. People die in houses all the time. It’s okay,” said a Redditor. pdxcouplese,” said another top comment.
One reply to pdxcouplese’s comment said:, It would be weirder to live in a house where no one died, if it was close to the city center. ”
Another user made a tongue-in-cheek suggestion about what Pleasant-Tear3205’s wife should do if she wants to avoid living in a place where someone has died.
User “Ok_Perception1131” said, “If your wife wants to go where no one has ever died before, offer to be one of the people colonizing Mars.”
