CA restaurant seeks damages from parents for disturbing children

Chez Xue, a Chinese restaurant located in Northern California, has recently attracted attention for its controversial policy of imposing fines on parents if their children cause damage to the establishment. This includes fees for things like broken credit card machines and scratched tabletops, raising questions about parental accountability and the expectations placed on diners.

The owner of the restaurant went viral after emphasizing the need for parents to supervise their children during meals, making it clear that they would be financially responsible for any damages caused by their kids.

Located in Foster City, near San Francisco, Chez Xue had initially posted the notice over a year ago, but it only gained traction on social media recently. The notice requests that parents ensure their children are seated and respectful, stating, “Chez Xue is a family-friendly restaurant. However, we are not a playground.” It also reminds guests that disruptive behavior, such as running or yelling, could lead to them being asked to leave, with parents being held accountable for damages.

The post documenting this notice has garnered around 1.7 million views, creating a wave of responses online.

The owner, You You Xue, mentioned that sparking this debate wasn’t the intention, but the need to maintain order at the restaurant was. “While this policy may seem like common sense, the reactions have been somewhat perplexing,” Xue stated.

Despite mixed reactions, Xue noted that most customers appear supportive of the policy. He was prompted to implement this notice due to an increase in unruly behavior from children over the past year, reflecting a trend where parents seem to be “abdicating personal responsibility” in these social settings.

“This is not a fine. It’s about basic respect.”

Xue shared instances where children behaved like they were in a playground, darting around the restaurant while servers handled hot dishes and sharp utensils. Some parents appeared to turn a blind eye, even allowing their kids to climb on furniture or etch patterns into wooden tables.

In one notable incident, a parent handed their child a credit card machine, which later broke, leading to a $327 replacement charge. Initially, the parents tried to negotiate a lower price because the machine had seen previous use, but they ultimately had to pay the full amount.

“Several times I had to bear down on parents to get them to understand,” Xue remarked. “Most of them prefer to sidestep such discussions altogether.”

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman supported the restaurant’s right to set boundaries for behavior, stating that it’s unsanitary and inappropriate for a dining environment. “No one wants to eat near a table where diapers have been changed, regardless of cleanliness,” she remarked.

Others believe that restaurants also serve as a valuable venue for teaching children social manners and patience. Jan Goss, a professional development expert, noted the significance of not allowing children to run amok, as it poses safety risks for everyone present. “It’s about respect,” she emphasized. “Respect ensures everyone can enjoy the shared space.”

Some misconceptions arose regarding penalties being enforced on parents, which Xue clarified by stating, “This is not a fine. It’s about basic respect.” Chez Xue remains open to families, with Xue assuring that around 98% of children who dine there behave appropriately. The goal isn’t to exclude children but to ensure that unruly behavior does not spoil the experience for others.

Xue encourages parents to treat dining out as a privilege and to instill respect for restaurants, just as one would for someone’s home. “I don’t intend to sound condescending,” he explained, “I just want to be clear with my customers.”

Goss reiterated that while children don’t inherently know restaurant etiquette, dining out can provide essential teaching moments that will benefit them in the long run.