Albert Einstein famously pointed out that insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different outcomes. Over the past few decades, the marriage rate has sharply declined. Today, people are tying the knot later in life, and many countries, particularly in the West including the United States, are grappling with a significant drop in birth rates. Surprisingly, many Christians and churches who regard marriage as a divine gift and a cornerstone of society aren’t doing much to inspire younger generations about the importance of marriage and family. It’s quite puzzling, really.
Maybe there’s something we can learn from a group of retirees in China. They’ve been highlighted for their unique approach to matchmaking in a recent article. Every weekend, these parents gather in a park, often referred to as a “marriage market,” armed with photos and statistics about their adult children to help them find potential spouses.
Interestingly, the younger generation seems less concerned than their parents about these matchmaking efforts. One 33-year-old single man noted, “My parents are more worried than I am.” This is perhaps justified; as per reports, only about 6 million couples are expected to register their marriages in 2024 in a nation of over a billion people. This represents a staggering 21% drop from the previous year, a decline attributed to long-standing policies like the one-child policy that China implemented years ago.
In America, the idea of arranged marriages still feels alien. Many people find the notion of marrying to bolster the economy lacks romance. Yet, our young adults are in dire need of support when it comes to building relationships.
First off, there’s a pressing need for better understanding of what marriage truly is. The Bible frames it as a cornerstone of life, whereas many young individuals view it as merely a personal milestone to achieve once everything else is in order. Despite Christ’s depiction of the church as His bride and the rich metaphorical significance of marriage, pop culture often presents it as a burden, an obstacle to achieving personal happiness. God designed us for family, yet many young women are being told that unrestricted sexual freedom is the key to fulfillment.
Moreover, young individuals contemplating marriage frequently don’t consult their parents or pastors for guidance and tend to turn to dating apps instead. A recent research survey revealed that 30% of adults have used a dating app, with a significant percentage of those users aged 18 to 29. College, a time filled with opportunities to meet peers, ironically raises concerns about how dating apps might be diminishing the essence of romance.
There is, however, a flicker of hope with the resurgence of young individuals returning to church. Yet, it’s important to note, the dynamics between young men and women aren’t entirely aligned. One online discussion highlighted the difficulty of finding suitable partners in large church gatherings.
Given these obstacles, is it possible for Christians to rejuvenate the concept of dating for marriage?
During Wilberforce Weekend in 2012, Maggie Gallagher encouraged people to transform their homes and communities into environments where young Christians can connect, emphasizing the need to take marriage seriously. Perhaps this could be a pivotal moment for the church to revitalize the idea of marriage, though it demands a departure from societal norms and a willingness to embrace some awkwardness in the process.
Many youths lack a clear understanding of what makes marriage positive. Concepts like “sacrificial love” and having children as a central purpose seem foreign. It’s essential to reinstate these ideas. Men should feel comfortable expressing affection, and women shouldn’t feel let down by that affection either.
A young man should be encouraged to genuinely like someone, but it’s equally important that older male figures remind him of the necessity of commitment and sacrifice. Meanwhile, young women should consider how the myths of the sexual revolution have shaped their perspectives. They ought to be encouraged to say yes to meaningful relationships sooner rather than later.
In essence, young people need to hear affirmations like “Marriage and family are God’s blessings.” The Church has a unique opportunity to partner with parents in making marriages and families thrive again. We might have to bridge the gap between traditional men and nonreligious women, but a shared space could open pathways for genuine connections.
