Dear Abby: I’m a senior man living next to a slightly older woman. We both enjoy our retirement by staying active on the lake. Recently, while looking out my window, I spotted a crocodile about 50 meters away. Crocodiles are pretty unusual in our area, but they do inhabit nearby regions.
Should I tell my neighbor about the crocodile? I’m worried she might become so frightened that she’d stop swimming altogether. If she continues, could my warning lead to her constantly worrying about danger and spoil her enjoyment? Conversely, if I don’t say anything, she might end up at risk. I really care about her well-being and wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened. What do you think? — Be cautious in Texas
Dear Vigilant: What’s more crucial: your neighbor’s life or her ability to swim? How would you feel if she suffered a serious injury or worse because you didn’t mention what you saw? Please, it’s better to speak up!
By the way, would you continue swimming in a place with crocodiles? Think that through; you could be in danger too.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 56 years, but over the past year, it’s been nothing but arguments. From significant issues to trivial matters, it seems there’s only conflict. After a few enjoyable days, we often find ourselves arguing over something small or an offhand comment. And just like that, we’re in another disagreement.
Some major issues spark these fights, but also lingering grudges and hurtful things we’ve said. I believe we still love each other, but our liking for each other feels strained.
We think we need someone to mediate, to listen to both perspectives and help guide us toward a resolution. We searched for a mediator but found mostly therapists specializing in couples who are much younger than us. We hope to find someone with life experience, who can objectively listen and offer constructive advice. What should we do? — trying to solve it in Western countries
Everyone working hard: It’s commendable that you both want to resolve your marital issues and recognize the need for assistance. A marriage and family therapist could help. I suggest asking your doctor for a referral to someone licensed, ideally older. Talk to a few candidates to find someone you and your husband feel comfortable with. A mediator can provide the insights you’re looking for, especially if you appreciate compromise.
