No-Contact Trend Among Families on the Rise

Recently, there has been a significant increase in what’s termed the “no-contact” trend. This phenomenon, largely fueled by social media, involves adults consciously severing ties with their parents and other relatives, often under the guidance of therapists. It’s frequently seen as a means to safeguard mental health from perceived harm or ideological disparities.

This isn’t just a fleeting trend; the New York Post reports that around 38% of Americans are not in communication with friends or family members. Meanwhile, Reddit’s “EstrangedAdultChild” community is rapidly expanding, and TikTok has amassed nearly 500,000 posts tagged with #nocontact, totaling over a billion views.

This break from family connections is becoming increasingly common.

In a recent episode of “Relatable,” Allie Beth Stuckey explored this movement through a biblical perspective.

She suggests that the no-contact trend is part of a broader “therapeutic culture” that emphasizes self-improvement over everything else. “This is a unique form of what I call self-affirmation worship,” she asserts. “When you learn to find validation and happiness within yourself, this self-discovery journey can unlock your deepest aspirations,” she adds, noting that this idea overlaps with New Age practices.

However, according to Allie, Jesus challenges us to shift our focus away from ourselves.

“Remember Jesus’s words: If you want to find yourself, you must lose yourself. If you want to live fully, you must die to self. To attain what I offer, you have to let go of everything else,” she explains.

Yet, the principles behind the no-contact movement stand in stark contrast to Christ’s teachings.

“It doesn’t mean you need to deny yourself, but rather deny others. To gain something doesn’t necessarily mean losing yourself but losing connections with others,” Allie calls it “the worship of self.”

Still, she acknowledges that establishing boundaries may be necessary between parents and their adult children.

“If harmful or hateful actions and words are involved, then it’s understandable,” she remarks. “The issue is that the reasons for no contact can be very broad, including anything from minor disagreements to political issues to disliking a parent’s tone or being overly critical.”

“There are many justifications for this, and honestly, I think it’s a poor reason to sever ties with your parents,” she admits.

So, what should be the Christian perspective on the no-contact movement?

Allie begins her response by referencing an old clip from Charlie Kirk discussing the challenge of dealing with difficult parents.

“Even when your parents hold different values, beliefs, and views, you still have a Biblical duty to honor them. This entails spending time with them, loving them, and visiting them. If you can’t honor your earthly father, how can you honor your heavenly father?” he posits.

The Bible reinforces this point repeatedly, as Allie highlights several verses that instruct children to honor their parents.

“It doesn’t say to honor them only if they treat you well or meet specific conditions,” she points out.

However, she concedes that for those with genuinely abusive or neglectful parents, the path forward is not straightforward. “It requires immense divine strength to say, ‘Even if you don’t treat me well, I’m still going to treat you well.’ That’s the kind of love Christians are called to demonstrate,” she asserts. “This is a love that the world often misunderstands.”

We are invited to embody this sacrificial, unconditional love, which mirrors the love that Christ extends to us.

“Even when people were insulting Jesus or when He was being crucified, He said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,'” Allie reminds us. “That’s the radical nature of Jesus’s teachings.”

If you’re curious to delve deeper into this topic, check out the episode above.