tCurrently, Australia has attracted current attention for its message about masculinity about boys and young men growing up. TV series about adolescents, media attention The sexist “manfluencer” Like Andrew Tate, and about community concerns “Toxic Masculinity” Everything raises the question of how to raise good boys and men.
What can parents do to help raise boys who become positive members of the community, men who treat those around them with respect and fairness?
“Real” Male: How are Masculine Norms changing?
For parents to be part of the solution, they must first learn a little about the problem. “Masculinity” It refers to a set of actions and roles related to being a boy or man. The traditional norms of masculinity tell men that they should be tough, aggressive, risk-taking, stoic, heterosexual, homophobic, emotionally constipated, and hostile to femininity and dominance. Expectations for these stereotypes It has weakened in Australia over the last few decades. The emphasis is on the emotional expressiveness of men and their fostering fathers, the blurred boundaries between straight and gay, and the increased acceptance of ideals of gender equality.
However, traditional male norms still shape the lives of boys and men. for About a fifth of boys and young mena strong support for stereotypical masculinity comes in behaviors that hurt oneself or harm others. Some young men do harm to themselves: they lack intimate friendship and support, they consider suicide, they become high and at risk while drunk. Complying with some aspects of traditional definition of masculinity can result in rewards, such as workplace success or male peer group status.
More widely, general boys and young men experience efforts by others to encourage “gender policing,” actions that are in line with gender-influential norms, and punish behavior that is separate from these, including language and physical abuse. This policing comes from not only male peers and parents, but also from others.
Boys and men who do not follow the dominant model of masculinity pay certain fees, whether they cannot or do not want to. They may suffer from violence, abuse, alienation, or stigma.
Some boys and young men do harm to others. Most people never use violence against their girlfriends or other girls or women. But the minority – again, more minority than many parents want to recognize – commit violence, especially those who most agree with the sexist norms of disrespect and male domination.
According to Australian data Most young men support gender equality, and most reject violence, domination and control in relationships. But the minority – quarter to third to third depending on the problem Supports the gender discrimination aspect. And while the evidence is merely anecdotal, there may be an increase in more hostile and misogynistic sexism among juvenile cohorts, whether prompted by pornography, anti-feminist social influencers, or something else.
There is also a deep diversity between boys and young men. Each group has very different levels of access to resources, electricity and status depending on other social inequalities, their economic position, ethnicity and other factors.
How do you raise good men?
When schools, social media platforms, governments and communities can play a role, it is not fair to see only parents to deal with the harm that boys and young men suffer and cause. Still, parents can have a strong influence on the kind of males that boys become.
Parents can encourage strong norms of gender equity among their children, and models share decision-making; Challenge the roles and stereotypes of rigid gender. Parents can encourage empathy and kindness. We can teach our sons how to safely deal with anger and aggression, and develop emotional intelligence and literacy.
Parents can ask boys how they want to be seen and the values and morals they aim to live in to motivate them to invest in positive ways. Tell your sons about the message they notice about masculinity in the media, music and elsewhere. What are positive about them, what are negative, sexist, or restrictions? Note the value of stereotypical masculine qualities such as courage, leadership, and strength, as well as the feminine qualities of stereotypicalities such as compassion and empathy, and how you can practice these.
With teenage boys, parents should Talk about sexual consent, rape, healthy relationships As part of a regular chat about life, love and growth. Talk to them about positive and enjoyable sexual engagement and relationships and note that these are based on consent and mutual respect. Show boys that a man is a caring lover and can become a beloved husband or partner.
Fathers can play an important role given the evidence. The sons learn models of masculinity, especially from their fathers.. Try to provide a positive example to “take a walk.” Be a fair and supportive partner. Inspire your children with fairness and respect. And when you get it wrong, we all sometimes get the wrong thing to acknowledge your actions and make corrections.
If we take a positive and empathetic approach, talking about masculinity with boys focuses on supporting boys and building healthy, equitable relationships and friendships. Avoid useless languages that encourage defense, such as calling men “toxic.” Understand that boys may have been exposed to harmful messages about masculinity for a long time. And be patient and help with investigating these issues.
