Raising a teenager in today’s world can seem like too much work. It’s like trying to stay calm when you’re a dry piece of wood thrown into a dumpster fire. Many of us older Millennials and his Gen Xers have raised our teenage children through the evolution of smartphones, Snapchat, and Xbox Live. We have no idea what we’re doing on the ground. But we are meant to serve as master-class digital police, culture war moderators, and spiritual warfare ninjas in an increasingly absurd world. deep. I breathe.
Keeping faith and remaining optimistic while dealing with teenage mood swings, unexpected drama, evolving personalities, and all the other magic that keeps therapists alike horrified and entertained on a regular basis can be extremely difficult. is difficult. But today I had a divine idea. It happened while I was idly at the kitchen sink listening to my 14 and 16 year old sons walking around the house, chatting on their Airpods and leaving a trail of snack wrappers behind. . The voice just said, “You’re both great. And you’re both going to be okay.” Admittedly, I was pretty caffeinated and high on a fresh Maverick City worship set. But frankly, we haven’t heard enough enlightenment or comfort, so we were overwhelmed with some assurances and truths that we would like to share with all moms of teens. . We may need to be reminded of these truths every day, but I hope this helps, even if just for today.
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1. Your children will become great people someday.
Lazy. Ungrateful. My eyes turn. Complete and utter disregard for the cleanliness of others and the back seat. This stage of parenting is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it feels impossible to imagine our teens growing up to be high-functioning, caring, Jesus-loving adults with minimal housekeeping skills. For example, my 16-year-old son spilled a quarter of a mug of OJ in the refrigerator, immediately shut the door, and walked upstairs as if he were Rocky getting out of the ring after winning eight rounds. Ta. Most teens refuse to reciprocate any affection and, when asked to help with menial tasks like shoveling snow, act as if we’ve conscripted them into Nam. You may feel beyond defeated, but this too shall pass.
My 23-year-old son still lives at home, and for the past two years I have shed tears over his empathy, his efforts at home, and the simplest changes in his sweeping evolution from ape to human. I’ve been streaming it. Something as simple as asking about my life. Offer to buy food on the way home. I’m putting his dishes in the washing machine. So, friends, what I am proposing is not just wishful thinking or characteristic jargon. Sometimes we just need to hear it. This is a normal teenage thing. You’re raising good children. you are doing your best. And they’ll probably be great…someday.
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2. Your teens will love you again someday (and show it)
I’ve been giving unwanted affection for 10 years, ever since I read somewhere that children up to the age of 18 need three hugs a day to feel secure. The kids cringe, protest, and run in the opposite direction, but I still chase and hug them. It’s a healthy habit for them, but after a while, the lack of reward tires them out. Being constantly ignored in public and eventually demoted from being your best friend to being her Uber driver takes a toll on our hearts.
But from what I remember from my own miserable 16-year-old days and from all the friends I’ve seen raise their children across the finish line as adults, this too shall pass. right. someday. I don’t know when. 20 years old, 25 years old, maybe 30 years old? But someday, we will feel loved, connected, and appreciated by our children. I’m talking about the mother of her 15 year old daughter who will block and kick you out of her one of the bedrooms. I’m looking at you, the mother of her 13-year-old son. The emails take the form of quasi-extortion and digital bullying (“Be here by 10!” “Buy this!” “Why are you here? Mom?”)
This is my best advice. Don’t fall into the “eternal trap”. Reject lies like, “Maybe our personalities are so different that our personalities will always clash,” or “Maybe they’ll hate me forever because of the divorce.” In most cases, anger, ambivalence, and moodiness in teenagers are a manifestation of stress and hormonal changes and have nothing to do with us. In fact, teens often take out their negative feelings on the people they feel safest and closest to because they know they can trust them. Of course, I never condone rudeness or rudeness, but when our teens are distant and cold, we need to remember that it’s normal and that it’s time It will improve over time. God has blessed you with motherhood, and you will have a loving and healthy relationship with your children for many years to come.
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3. The seeds sown will be reaped someday.
Do you see a pattern here? Being a mother requires a lot of waiting and patience, not just waiting in a school parking lot or a friend’s driveway. I believe that the ultimate measure of our efforts, prayers, and sacrifices will bear fruit years later, perhaps even when our children are out of the house. But every intercession, every act of sacrifice, every bite of our tongue when we are about to throw a tantrum matters. When we don’t succumb or get depressed by the standards of our sheep parents (sorry, it’s true!), every meal we make (or burn) and every hour of sleep we lose worrying about, God will Respected.
Our children will probably never know the cost that comes with being a good mother. High school football fees are 1,000 a year, so they’ll never know we didn’t take a day off. Single/divorced moms, you will never know the dates we didn’t go on or the relationships you gave up on because we wanted to be with your kids. They will never know when we put our emotions aside and hold back our own tears to make sure their needs are met. But God is aware of this and is very faithful. Every good effort and seed sown will be reaped in your child’s life.
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4. If Jesus is the Lord of your home, your children will obey the truth.
This truth can be polarizing and difficult to reconcile, as we all know that there are several adult children who grew up in Christian homes and were not walking with the Lord. I’m disappointed. But we never know the inner workings of someone else’s family life, and we also know that it’s never too late for salvation.we have to stand on it Proverbs 22:6It is a promise that we will “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I can personally attest to this, as a pastor’s kid who went completely inactive throughout his teens and early adulthood. Like the prodigal daughter returning from a very unproductive period at the University of Central Florida, I eventually found my way back to the Lord. It’s easy to let fear consume every last drop of faith, but we can help our children stay close to God, even if it means swerving, stumbling, or taking a long walk home. So, never stop praying and thanking God in advance.
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5. There are no perfect parents or perfect children.
Mom guilt can be terrible, especially during the teenage years. Of course, we experienced guilt when they were little, but back then we needed constant love, adoration, and the words “I’m coming for you” to mend the emotional wounds. I was comforted by Now, if we mess up or disappoint them, all we’re met with is the silent treatment and eye rolls. Brutal. We need to remind ourselves every day that we are doing our best and that our children will be okay. We’ve made terrible decisions, regretted our mistakes, and let our children down in some way over the years. This is parenthood.
We have had too much discipline and not enough discipline. We have failed to communicate, overreacted, and become irritated when we should have taken a breather. We were selfish and distracted when they needed us the most. The list goes on and it sounds depressing until we re-center this truth. God is big enough, good enough, and faithful enough to cover our mistakes. He loves our kids more than we love them, and he doesn’t want our teens to die because we instituted the wrong dating rules or put them in public school too early. I have no intention of doing so. God has no record of any evil against us, and He sees and cares for the weight of our burden of love. God wants us to forgive ourselves and enjoy our children without suffering the constant pain of shame. Your kids will make it. And so are you. One awkward hug at a time.
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