Dear Abby Responses
Dear Abby: A few months ago, I got quite ill and ended up spending ten days in the hospital. After that, I went to a rehabilitation center. Interestingly, my husband worked at that facility. When I got home two weeks post-rehab, he dropped a bombshell: he was filing for divorce and offered no explanation. Our marriage, spanning over 30 years, had been rocky. Every time we went to counseling, he was uncooperative and often dishonest.
Recently, I discovered he had an affair with a woman who was visiting the center. This isn’t his first infidelity; it’s actually his third. Now, he’s planning to move in with her while the divorce continues. At 70, I’ve always tried to be the supportive wife he wanted, and now I feel utterly shattered. I still can’t face the fact that he cheated on me, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s lying to her just as he did to me. It seems he’s struggling with some emotional issues in this new relationship. How do I possibly let go and move forward? – Stumble in South Dakota
Dear Stumble: If you’re pondering whether your husband might be deceiving his new partner, you’re not alone. Dishonesty often seems convenient for some. It’s likely he will mislead her just as he did with you. Although it’s hard, this situation offers you a chance to start anew. Consider discussing your rights with an attorney regarding your marriage of over 30 years in South Dakota.
Dear Abby: I’m a mother of two teenage boys. My younger son, “Ritchie,” at 17, is a fantastic kid with a 3.8 GPA. He studies hard and is aiming for a scholarship, always falling asleep before I get home at night.
What concerns me, though, is my lack of insight into his life. He mentioned going to his junior prom, and I don’t even know who he’s going with. I don’t know much about his friends, although I recognize many of their mothers. As a single parent juggling several jobs, I’m exhausted and feel like I have no life. I worry that if he shared more about what he does in his spare time, I might judge him. Still, I feel somewhat disconnected from him.
I remember being 17 and desiring my independence, so I hesitate to ask too many questions. Respecting his privacy has always been important to me, and I’ve promised my kids that their freedom is theirs as long as they keep up their grades and don’t cause trouble. What should I do? – The concerned mother
Dear Mom: It seems you and your son are living on very different schedules. From what you’ve shared, it doesn’t appear he’s hiding anything. Try to engage him when you’re both awake and start a brief conversation. This won’t come off as invasive. Your current work schedule may feel like you’re two ships passing in the night, but it’s never too late to change that dynamic.
