Dear Abby: My husband had an online relationship with a girl from Georgia when he was a teenager, lasting about two years. They’ve met a few times, and even now, we’re all in our 30s, they still text or email occasionally.
I’ve expressed my discomfort about their ongoing communication, especially since they talk about missing each other. He keeps saying that, in their youth, they were “there for each other.” Recently, during a road trip to Florida, he suggested we stop by Georgia to see her. He insists they weren’t really “dating” since they never slept together. It feels like my feelings about this friendship don’t matter. Abby, I need your advice. – Uncertain in Chicago
Dear Uncertainty: It seems like the Georgia detour wasn’t a good idea for you. I might be reading this wrong, but I think your husband’s past connection is significant for him. You mentioned they don’t communicate often—what does that imply for you? Holding onto this situation could strain your marriage. Perhaps try to resolve your concerns and ease off a bit. It could actually improve things between you.
Dear Abby: After collaborating closely for six years, I’ve developed an awkward crush on my colleague and project partner, “Brett.” It’s such an embarrassing and frustrating situation. I know it’s not reciprocated, and I have no intention of acting on it. Both of us are married, and I want to keep it that way. My plan has been to spend less time together and focus on work that isn’t so… complicated.
I’ve adjusted my schedule to avoid overlapping with him. When traveling, I arrange separate flights so we’re not together all the time. The issue is, Brett thinks I’m upset with him and that he’s done something wrong. He’s really professional and great at his job. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I can’t just tell him what’s going on. What else can I do besides taking breaks until I can handle this? – Strict business in the South
Dear Strictly: Bringing up your crush with Brett could be both embarrassing and unprofessional. While he thinks you’re mad at him, don’t push him away without explaining. The best way to manage your feelings is to remind yourself that acting on them could jeopardize your career. Honestly, that might work better than anything else.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), and her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more, you can reach out to Dear Abby at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
