Dear Abby: My 20-year-old son lives at home and works full time. However, he doesn’t contribute to household chores or pay his share of car insurance, despite previously agreeing to do so. Recently, he moved out his girlfriend and dog without even asking us. He struggles with anxiety and depression, which he thinks he manages through marijuana.
Whenever we try to discuss his future, household responsibilities, or finances, it ends up escalating into a shouting match, and he even resorts to hitting the walls. I’m torn. Should I consider asking him to leave? But then, I worry he might end up in a dangerous area. He feels upset that his friends are pursuing college, yet he shows no interest in furthering his education and his grades aren’t great. I’d appreciate any advice you have. — A concerned mom from Texas
Dear Mom: Do you really envision your son living with you indefinitely while avoiding responsibility? If that’s the case, stay the course. If not, it’s time for you and your husband to step up.
You might consider telling him that he should have saved enough to get his own place for himself, his girlfriend, and the dog. Set a timeline for him to move out. If it means relocating somewhere less ideal, that’s the reality. And if he reacts aggressively, instruct him to cease immediately; if he doesn’t listen, don’t hesitate to involve the authorities. That might earn you some respect.
By the way, in Texas, using marijuana for self-medication is illegal unless prescribed by a doctor.
Dear Abby: I’m in my early 30s and have chosen a child-free life. I feel that bringing children into this world is a bit unkind and irresponsible given the current issues—like rising costs, societal inequalities, crime, and climate change. But I can’t help but worry that as I age, there might not be anyone around to care for me. What’s your take? — Worried Millennial
Dear Millennials: It’s great to hear that you’ve made a thoughtful choice! Relying solely on having children for future care isn’t exactly a solid plan. Life is unpredictable. It’s crucial to consult with a financial planner or lawyer now to ensure you have enough saved for your retirement and the support you might eventually need.
Dear Abby: My husband and I file taxes together each year. We both work, but even after I received my tax refund, he’s refused to share any of it. How should I feel about this situation, and what actions should I take? — Still waiting in Pennsylvania
For those still waiting: If you’re contributing to the household financially, you definitely deserve a share of that refund. It feels quite selfish for your husband not to share. Frustration and anger are normal reactions here. What’s he doing with that money? Is he putting it toward future taxes? As for what to do, that really depends on how proactive you want to be about it.
