Dear Abby: I’m in my 70s, and my girlfriend is eight years my junior. We met 42 years back when a relative thought we’d be a good match. I grew up as an only child, while she came from a broken home. We dated for a while, but communication was tough back then. I was young and carefree; she was focused on caring for her mother until she passed away. Seven years ago, we reconnected and started dating. Although we live an hour apart, I drive to see her every couple of weeks, and we talk daily.
Things seemed to be progressing well, so I asked her if she’d be open to marriage in the future. She said she would “consider it.” A few years later, I even offered to buy her a ring, and she got really upset. So, I backed off. Out of the blue, a year ago, she said she should probably stop coming over. When I asked why, she mentioned something I had said before that had upset her. Apparently, I joked about her interests, and she found my comments inappropriate. I asked her why these feelings hadn’t been shared sooner; she just felt she should have said something but didn’t. I tried to be playful and didn’t intend to offend her. After I apologized, I suggested we see a therapist, and she expressed a willingness to work through things, but that she needed to rebuild trust. I took some time away for a vacation, but the atmosphere hasn’t improved. She doesn’t seem interested in simple gestures like holding hands anymore. Time feels precious, and I’m questioning if I’m in the wrong relationship. — Frustrated in Ohio
Dear Frustrated: Yes, it sounds like the woman may not feel physically attracted to you anymore. This doesn’t help when issues arise, does it? Now could be a good time to broaden your dating options.
Dear Abby: I’ve been married to a great man for five years. He has a nearly 20-year-old daughter, Amber, whom he raised alone. Amber is somewhat spoiled, likely due to the absence of a mother figure. I get that, but she’s often disrespectful to me and makes my husband pick sides during our disagreements. I try to stay neutral, but living together makes it hard since Amber and I just don’t get along. She has zero respect for her father. When I confront him about it, I end up looking like the villain. I’m not forcing him to choose sides, but there’s only room for one queen in this house, and it’s not me. What should I do? — Tough situation in Georgia
Dear Prickly One: Is Amber a student at home? Is she working but not financially independent? Where’s her mother in all of this? How much longer will she be living with you?
If you and your husband really want to improve this situation, I suggest seeking help from a marriage and family therapist. He should have intervened when her behavior started to spiral and made clear that respect is non-negotiable in your home.
