Dear Abby: Advice on Relationship Issues and Neighborhood Concerns

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together for 23 years and married for nearly 9. We’re both in our 60s, and this is the second marriage for each of us. I left my job since it required moving out of state. I’ve noticed that my husband, well, he doesn’t really make friends. He goes to work and comes home, and that’s about it. Over the years, he’s accused me of wanting to be with a male friend of mine—his wife is also a friend of mine—suggesting I should find happiness with another man. Neither of us has ever given him a reason for his jealousy, which seems somewhat… excessive.

I’m involved with a non-profit, so I regularly communicate with the male board chair, and now he’s become a target of my husband’s jealousy as well. It’s frustrating because my husband works in psychiatry, so suggesting counseling isn’t really an option. He tends to think he’s always right and, as far as I know, hasn’t ever apologized for anything. I don’t engage with his rants—they feel pointless—but honestly, I’m fed up with his behavior. I get why he acts this way, given his upbringing, but I don’t think that justifies it. What can I do to move forward? — Tired in Florida

Dear Tired: It sounds like your husband’s behavior stems from a deep-seated anxiety. If you haven’t managed to ease that anxiety in years, it seems unlikely it would change now. Many therapists end up seeing mental health professionals themselves, but your husband will need to acknowledge that he might be the issue, not you, for anything to improve. It’s surprising your marriage has lasted this long, honestly. Is this how you want to continue living? Figuring out the answer to that might help you find a way forward.

Dear Abby: I work from home a few days a week, and I’m just a block from a middle school. Recently, a group of kids has been fighting in my yard. I don’t know these kids—they don’t go to the school—and it seems like this is a recurring problem. I really don’t know how to handle it.

I’ve thought about ignoring it, but I worry not just about the kids getting hurt, but also about the parents being upset if something happens on my property. Calling the police feels a bit extreme, but so does reaching out to the school, especially since they probably have no idea who these kids are. Do you have any advice? — Ohio Witness

Dear Witness: Here’s my thought. Since you’ve already seen the kids in these fights, it’s important to take action. You could be liable if someone is injured on your property. I suggest reaching out to the principal at the middle school and explaining the situation. After that, consider contacting the police to report that your yard has become a makeshift battleground. That way, if it happens again, you have a record, and they might respond more quickly.