Dear Abby

I’m a senior woman in great shape. I’ve always been active, so attracting men hasn’t been difficult. Five years ago, I married a man I had known for a long time. Our sex life was fairly active initially, but it’s been four years since he showed any intimacy. He claims it’s due to a lack of self-confidence, though he doesn’t really know why.

If I don’t leave him, I fear I might never experience the warmth of someone else’s embrace again. We generally get along well, but with time, my attraction to him has diminished. If he were to make a move today, I think I would turn him down because there’s just too much hurt there.

On the financial side, leaving would be a disaster. Friends and family see us as a great couple, but none know the truth. Every long, lonely day feels like I’m sinking deeper into despair. I really need your advice. — Costa Rica’s untouched nature

Dear Untouched: Before you spiral deeper into sadness, it might be wise to consult your doctor and seek a referral to a licensed psychologist. Don’t rush into making any decisions about your marriage until you feel more stable. I’m not sure what’s behind your husband’s issues, and he may not know either.

Does he understand how strongly you feel about the situation, and are you seriously considering separation? If he’s unaware, would he be open to discussing possible solutions to mend your relationship? And if he is, would you be willing to give it another shot? I realize I’m asking more questions than providing answers, but it’s definitely worth thinking about.

Another Letter

As the university’s compliance officer, I provide mandatory training for faculty and staff. They know the schedule well in advance, and I try to keep these sessions as brief and infrequent as possible. This means every moment counts.

The issue is, during breaks, some folks tend to wander off, and it’s unclear where they go. Are they fetching coffee? Addressing personal needs? Sometimes, I wonder if they’re off contemplating their life goals. Who knows?

I’m left with two choices. I could keep everyone here until everyone returns, which is polite but may extend the day longer than necessary. The other option would be to deny accreditation until they catch up on what they missed, which feels disrespectful. Both scenarios are frustrating.

Interestingly, the longer the break, the more people tend to go missing. No amount of warning seems to help with timeliness. So, what’s the better choice: start without everyone or wait? — Running shows in Massachusetts

For those running: Please don’t present it like that. At the start of each meeting, clearly state that attendance for the full session is required for credit. Then, stick to your word. Allowing someone to exit disrespects those who stayed engaged.