Letters to Abby
Dear Abby: I’m disabled, and when I go to places like doctor’s offices or restaurants, there are typically two doors. Often, someone will hold one open for me while they come in or out. However, it seems like every time I try to do the same for myself, someone just pushes past me—sometimes nearly knocking me over.
What can I say about this rudeness? Who knows, maybe they’ll find themselves in my position one day and will wish they had someone to hold the door for them. The next time it happens, I might just say, “That door was meant for folks like me, not you. I’m glad you can walk though!” What do you think, Abby? It’s just unbelievable how rude people are these days. — Trying to get over Virginia.
Dear Challenging: A better term than “rude” might be “entitled.” If I were in your shoes, I think I’d shout about how they closed the door on me because of my disability. And I’d mention how lucky I was not to have gotten hurt.
Dear Abby: I’ve always been the wild one in my family, while my four siblings stuck to the straight path. Despite that, we have a loving bond. Now that we’re older, they all live quite well. But I’ve faced injuries and serious illness, so I’m now on Supplemental Security Income and food stamps.
My brothers are incredibly generous, donating to food banks and even putting homeless people up in hotels. That’s wonderful, but none of them check in to see if I have enough to eat. It hurts, honestly. Thankfully, my affordable housing has provisions for food, so I’m managing.
Should I reach out to my brothers? They’ve helped me with little things in the past, like buying furniture. They could easily support me if they wanted to. Should I just feel grateful? — Poor performance in California.
To everyone who is underperforming: Your family can’t read your mind. If you need help, just be straightforward. Explain what you’re going through and ask for what you need. The worst they can say is no, and you wouldn’t be worse off than you are now.
Dear Abby: I’m really concerned about my husband’s reaction to his mother’s death. She collapsed and died in the driveway, and I jumped into action—making sure everyone was fed and covering funeral costs. That was good, right? But I’m puzzled as to why he isn’t grieving. I love him dearly, but this is confusing. What should I think? — free it in oregon.
Dear Announcement: I’m truly sorry to hear about your mother-in-law’s sudden passing. Everyone processes grief differently, so try not to compare reactions. If his mother had a significant impact on his life, he will feel her absence. If he’s still eating, sleeping, and focusing well, it might just be his way of coping. This is his journey, and if anything changes, a doctor can help refer him to a grief support group.
