The Met’s Strict Dress Code
Let’s chat about the transformation of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Every woman attending the gala was decked out in outfits that could raise some eyebrows.
No bras, no girdles, no super-tight underwear—essentially, no need for restraint.
No bending or twisting required. Zippers? Well, they seemed reserved for older gentlemen jumping for drinks.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed? It’s not that serious. What were they wearing? The essentials were all on display.
Items like slips and bras seemed to vanish. Easy access was a priority for everyone involved.
Someone even decided to use a candle in a rather unconventional way, if you know what I mean.
Even my dog understands a thing or two about wearing a belly band.
It’s like underwear has officially made the leap to being outerwear.
Next year, just leave the handbag at home and bring your tweezers instead.
When the angel Gabriel came into the spotlight, he had quite the wardrobe.
On the Sideline
Here are some statements you may have heard or maybe just thought up during an unforgettable gathering ages ago:
Hunter Biden: “That wasn’t my computer.”
Wrong Way Corrigan: “I told you to turn left.”
Sitting Bull: “What? I booked that couch.”
Tony Statuette: “What is going on here?”
Elon Musk: “Every penny made equals a billion lost.”
Bill Clinton: “I’m not sure what you’re accusing me of, but I’m not doing it.”
Prince Andrew: “Epstein? Who’s that?”
Senator Menendez: “But the gold brick was tiny.”
Passenger in a driverless Tesla: “Uh, can you back up?”
Bill de Blasio: “So, which way is uptown?”
MTA Chairman: “$20 isn’t excessive for just one stop to 59th Street.”
Tourist: “Where was Saks Fifth Avenue located?”
Didi: “No, it’s not Rambo; that’s a different character.”
Kim Kardashian: “Who exactly was Caesar?”
Napoleon: “So, Tom Cruise is also considered short?”
Travis Kelsey: “At least I can hum a tune.”
Next Up is a Smoky Movie
Until Cuba reopens its beaches and cigars, here’s what’s on the agenda. The Havana Film Festival in New York features comedies around themes of love and, well, more love. Plus, there’s an alien story or two. Titles like “Havana Coyotes” and “My Cuban Dream” will be screened at the DGA Theater in Midtown and the Quad Cinema by Union Square. Tomorrow marks the last chance. So, smoke your Cohiba until they usher you out—Calamba! Here’s wishing everyone mucho mazel tov.
And speaking of the Met Gala, imagine a guy commuting on the subway because it’s the only way to keep his suit wrinkle-free, escorting a woman and commenting on a size-zero model whose ears seemed to be smaller than her bust—
May God and the United States of America bless us all.
