There has been a significant increase in awareness of neurodiversity lately, particularly in schools for children and in the diagnosis of middle-aged women. However, one demographic that’s still lacking in support is adults over 60. A recent study found that between 89% and 97% of autistic individuals in this age group remain undiagnosed, prompting experts like Dr. Louise Rutter to describe them as a “neglected generation.”
This is a pertinent issue for adult children who care for elderly parents and may spot signs of autism or ADHD. You might be asking yourself where to turn for support, or even if that’s the right approach (experts say it is). Here’s a brief guide.
Late-life struggles
Older neurodivergent individuals are much more likely to go undiagnosed, and later life often brings a wave of changes that can amplify their traits. For some, retirement means more freedom and less structure, which can be unsettling—especially for autistic individuals who thrive on routines. Rutter highlights that this period can also introduce feelings of loneliness and a slew of transitions, such as health issues and changes in living arrangements. A lack of control and predictability can exacerbate core autism traits.
Dr. Neil Drew, a chartered clinical psychologist, notes that for those with ADHD, the dip in dopamine levels often linked to retirement could lead to feelings of depression.
What to look for
Have you ever found yourself wondering if an aging parent might be autistic or have ADHD? Experts suggest focusing less on potential neurodivergent traits and more on whether those traits are causing issues in their day-to-day lives. “It’s not just about routine preferences like buying a newspaper,” says Dr. Gavin Stewart from King’s College London. “If a shop closing leads to distress, that’s more significant.”
Dr. Emilie Moorhead asks whether the individual struggles with social situations, communication challenges, or feels isolated during family gatherings. “Do they need time to recharge after being around others?”
Many find a diagnosis brings them closer to their loved ones. It can also help relieve past traumas or clarify behavioral patterns.
As people age, their traits can become more pronounced. Dr. Georgia Pavlopoulou points out that stress from managing their nervous system over the years may leave them with reduced capacity to mask their traits. Some individuals, however, may still be hiding their true selves. Dr. Lisa Williams suggests that for those masking, it can be hard to see; conversations can come off as rehearsed, and fatigue may cut interactions short.
Should you seek a diagnosis?
While it’s essential to consider each case individually, most experts recommend pursuing a diagnosis for older individuals. Rutter mentions that an autism diagnosis can prompt meaningful reflection about one’s life journey. Moorhead concurs, noting that many people feel different throughout their lives, and understanding the reasons behind their experiences can provide clarity.
It’s never too late for someone to embrace their true self, even if they’ve spent decades in a state of masking, adds Drew. After all, they may still have many years ahead of them.
How to broach the subject
Starting a conversation about neurodiversity with an older adult can be challenging. They might hold outdated views on autism and its implications. Drew recommends introducing the topic gradually: instead of overwhelming them with information, perhaps suggest practical solutions for their struggles. For example, “You mentioned finding loud noises difficult—maybe these earplugs could help?” He also notes that children may share similar traits or diagnoses, creating a bonding opportunity.
Stewart advises discussing neurodivergent public figures that they admire, which can help dispel myths about autism.
Consider previous diagnoses
Moorhead states that 70-80% of autistic individuals may also have coexisting mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or OCD, and up to 40% could have two or more conditions. Those receiving a late diagnosis may have felt misfit in life due to previous labels. ADHD can show up as forgetfulness and disorganization, leading some to question whether they’re experiencing early-onset dementia. These symptoms warrant a discussion with a healthcare provider.
The family ripple effect
Experts frequently encounter older adults seeking diagnoses after noticing similarities with a grandchild. However, Stewart cautions that strategies effective for a child may not suit an older adult, as needs can differ with age. Some people might finally feel freed to express themselves as they age, shedding guilt for the first time.
Some people, for the first time in their 50s and 60s, take an opportunity to unmask and show others who they are, with no guilt.
Many experts have observed that a diagnosis can enhance family connections. Drew mentions how families feel more understood after learning about such diagnoses, which can even help alleviate past traumas.
Finding a pathway
If you and a parent are interested in exploring a diagnosis, starting with a GP is a good approach. However, Williams notes that older patients may feel deprioritized for NHS assessments, causing many to turn to private providers instead. She emphasizes the importance of ensuring that any diagnostic testing is carried out by qualified professionals.
Look for two key indicators when selecting a private provider: one is whether they conduct in-person assessments, which tend to yield more reliable outcomes; the other is ensuring the clinician is properly regulated.
Physical benefits
A diagnosis can significantly affect not only an older person’s mental health but also their physical well-being. Pavlopoulou explains that neurodivergent individuals are often more susceptible to health issues due to the chronic stress of masking. There’s also research suggesting that people with ADHD face a higher risk of premature death from accidents. Appropriate treatment could improve not only their quality of life but their longevity.
Don’t wait to adapt
While obtaining a diagnosis can be validating, it’s not essential to start adjusting behavior to aid a parent. “We can focus on questions like whether they find comfort in routines or need straightforward instructions,” Pavlopoulou suggests. “Support can be offered even without a diagnosis.”
Professional assistance may be inconsistent, but Smith supports engaging with other neurodivergent individuals through mentoring or support groups to create a more understanding environment.
Lean into hobbies and special interests
Retirement or reduced responsibilities often signal a chance to connect with personal interests. Pavlopoulou encourages embracing this new freedom, noting that some individuals may finally feel free to unmask and explore their passions without guilt. Moorhead emphasizes recognizing and valuing people’s strengths, highlighting that neurodiversity includes the unique contributions individuals can make.
