Dear Abby: My 20-year-old nephew “Conrad” has serious anger issues. His girlfriend recently broke up with him, which left him quite upset. He went to visit his grandmother, my mother. When he arrived, he found her boyfriend, “Rob,” outside. He told Rob not to leave the house.
Conrad’s girlfriend was inside talking to my mom. He stormed in, clearly furious, and started yelling. Rob saw through the window as Conrad pushed my mother, causing her to fall. Without hesitation, Rob rushed inside to check on her, only for Conrad to turn on him and hurl insults.
My sister, Conrad’s mother, knows about this incident. I haven’t spoken to her about it yet, but my mom shared her thoughts with me. I listened, trying to be calm and rational. She’s eager to protect Conrad. What should I do? Can I just stay out of it? I feel conflicted—this is my mother and the grandmother of my children. — My stomach hurts.
Dear Stomach Hurts: It’s clear why Conrad’s girlfriend ended things. Who knows the extent of the abuse he might have inflicted on her? If your mother thinks she’s helping by staying silent about her own mistreatment, she’s mistaken. Conrad’s anger is concerning and he really needs professional help before things get worse. However, unless your mother chooses to go to the police, not much can be done right now.
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Dear Abby: I’m a 48-year-old single man from a close family of four. I’m a full-time caregiver for my disabled nephew, and I usually lead a happy, interference-free life.
Recently, I’ve felt like I’m in a rut and I can’t quite pin it down. I have type 2 diabetes and try to monitor my health closely. I eat right and walk 1-2 miles every other day. I see my doctor when necessary and stay on top of my health needs.
However, I’ve been feeling down and a bit sluggish. I’m not sure if it’s a midlife crisis or something else. I’ve never married or had kids, so I’m not sure how to handle this feeling. I don’t have any emotional outbursts or PTSD; it just seems like life is dragging, and I can’t figure out why. What are your thoughts? — Not myself in New Mexico
Dear NMINM: You seem very in tune with your body and healthy living. That’s commendable. However, since you’re expressing concern about your mental health, it might be wise to speak with your doctor. If there’s nothing physically wrong, feeling sluggish or down could indicate that seeing a licensed psychologist could be beneficial.
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Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Reach out to Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
