GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar only a cartel could love

In other words, America’s least popular reality show is still alive and well. Yes, I’m talking about Bachelor Southern Border. Millions of illegal aliens, most of whom appear to be able-bodied young men, walk away from all the other hotties in the world to get cozy with the world’s most eligible bachelors. I am. That sexy woman in a long flowing gown. Yes, it’s the Statue of Liberty. Or as I like to call her, “Six.” I mean, I could have done better. There are a lot of very passionate immigrants. That means migrants traveling from Venezuela will literally pass through six other countries before reaching the Texas border. how do they do it? I get tired after going 5 blocks. So is my driver. Now, if you’re so desperate that you have to flee the country on foot without a visa or even a passport, aren’t you so desperate that you don’t have a choice? Not satisfied with the first reasonable option? Not everyone can marry the prom queen. I mean, I was dumped by me. Because she was too enthusiastic about cheerleading practice and getting good grades. So I was 48 years old.

Video shows dozens of migrants being dropped off at the border before entering the country illegally

But why come here when there are so many places before us with people who speak the language and serve better food? Well, it’s simple. Roughly six seconds after his saggy butt hit the Oval Office chair, Joe threw down the welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tierra del Fuego. He might as well put up a sign in Mexico that says, “Don’t stop! If you kill someone a few miles away, you’ll get a free meal and a sex change.” know. In addition, the United Nations just announced plans to give $1.6 billion to 17 Latin American countries, in part in the form of prepaid debit cards for migrants. Currently, the United Nations gets 20% of its budget from us, so we are actually paying for the migrants to come here. And you know what? All of a sudden, there were about 10 million new people in the United States who decided that we were their representatives. That’s why it’s time to replace the Statue of Liberty’s torch with a can of pepper spray.

Figuratively! It’s a parable. Not literally. I don’t think it will get that big. Because the White House has turned the Statue of Liberty into a $10 hooker on the waterfront. It is no surprise that progressivism reaches its inevitable end point. You won’t get paradise. Confusion ensues. No one is illegal. Everyone is welcome. My hot tub sounds great until all of Bolivia shows up. Then it sounds great. So what’s the damage? Well, we had a tug-of-war over razor wire, a constitutional crisis event. There’s also a well-deserved impeachment hearing for DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, who is a combination of James Carville and Kaiser Rohrer. Mayorkas is the border czar that only the cartels love. So, go ahead and impeach. But let’s not get distracted. The administration has cornered itself and is now trying to change the rules. All of a sudden, we’re being told we’re close to passing a bipartisan bill that we have to negotiate. Bipartisan. Makes you wonder who they are going to buy. After all, why on earth should we negotiate borders? Wasn’t that part of the original contract?

In fact, we don’t need a law. It’s not that difficult. When the big orange wall known as Trump took office, he instituted a policy called Remain in Mexico. By the way, this is exactly what I said to Menudo. And they did. But that was it. An executive order is a policy issued by the president. All I needed was a pen and a phone. Two things that Biden always confuses. That’s why he got ink all over his face. So, like most great ideas, “Remain in Mexico” was simple and worked. All it meant was that immigrants traveling to Mexico to apply for asylum would have to wait there until their case could be heard in a U.S. court. Now, that could take three years, since progressives have broken down every conceivable barrier to deportation. So, I’ve been waiting for three years and now I’m on the Mexican side of the border. Substituting a Motel 6 for a luxury hotel would dramatically reduce false asylum claims. You can no longer dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi’s hedges or messing with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Biden administration officially ends President Trump’s ‘remain in Mexico’ immigration policy

And, as expected, tent cities began to appear there. Mexico was starting to become as unsafe as downtown Seattle. And Mexico quickly began cracking down on its southern border to keep out migrants. Just imagine? Remaining in Mexico was a very good idea and two different southern borders were created. But since the idea belonged to Trump, it had to be withdrawn. This is like refusing to cash in your winning lottery ticket because you don’t like the cashier’s tie. The left really hates President Trump and is against bashing supermodels. thank you. I think that deserves praise. So it’s not hard to see why Republicans view this supposedly bipartisan border bill as dead on arrival as Joe himself. It wasn’t supposed to be alive in the first place. And to the media’s horror, Republicans aren’t falling for it. That’s why weirdos like Morning Joe are now accusing the Republican Party and Trump of murder.

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough: As Mitt Romney said, people are suffering right now. With fentanyl flooding the border and illegal immigrants pouring across the border, Senate Democrats and Republicans know how to stop it. And House Republicans and Donald Trump won’t do that. That’s immoral.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

What’s immoral, you gasbags, is to express your fake anger now after three years of this crap. Those two are either idiots or just plain idiots. But they aren’t smart enough to pretend to be this stupid. It’s very deep. Thankfully, unlike those idiots, we don’t fall for it. Importantly, Remain in Mexico is still in effect, and Biden could just as easily redo it as Trump did it and Biden revoked it. So we’re not asking him to tie his shoes or recognize his grandchild. There are no negotiations and no laws. We don’t need to spend millions more on our borders. That’s b*****. If you need money, use the money you earn from selling the border wall to buy a nice new pen. Then, if you remember the name, practice signing it.