Dear Abby: My husband and I have two children. She has clear white skin and blonde curls and is 3 years old, and she has olive skin and straight brown hair and is 4 months old. When we are out together, people often ask me if my children have the same father. Is this a polite question? Potential answers could include sharing intimate details about my relationship history and fertility. No one is entitled to such an answer in a casual conversation, so why ask?
Things like this happen so often that our preschooler begins to wonder aloud to whom his brother belongs, if not his father. It drives me crazy. There are so many answers to this cheeky question, but how do you stop people from asking it in the first place? — Beautiful Puerto Rican Mom
To mom: There’s no end to the nosy, rude, and sometimes stupid questions people ask. Your answer should be: “If you’ll forgive me for not answering, I’ll also forgive you for asking me.” But there’s no way Stop Don’t let strangers ask questions in front of your child or carry cotton candy and stuff it in your child’s mouth.
(Please note that we are not advocating using dirty diapers.) Be sure to explain — repeat as necessary — Tell your preschooler that not all siblings are alike, and to her siblings. absolutely it’s her dad’s and to her.
Dear Abby: I host holiday meals for out-of-town families. The last time, my cousin’s 5 year old son was running around the upstairs hallway nonstop for almost the entire time. The floor is ceramic tile, so when I did this it made a loud noise and the house shook. The pounding made both my husband and I nervous, but we didn’t say anything because we were afraid it wouldn’t go well.
I asked him if he could say there was a house rule against running indoors in the future. I also asked if there were any games or anything I could buy to entertain him or redirect him if he starts doing it again. He was then told, “This is what kids his age do and it’s impossible to get him to stop running.” In an attempt to compromise, I asked if I could have a three-season room, outdoors or in the basement, and was told that they wouldn’t come.
My mother was just diagnosed with a serious illness and I hate not having any family members here this year because of it. Was my request misplaced? Is there another solution?
My cousin and his family say their house is too small to accommodate anyone and no one wants to go to a restaurant. — Midwest Upset
For those who are feeling anxious If this is “something kids his age often do,” one or both of the child’s parents should take him outside and allow him to expend some of his energy.
(This is no different than what some pet owners do out of respect for the host’s house rules.) I’ve seen parents do this at restaurants when their kids get confused. , it’s not unheard of.
If your cousin considers this too much of a burden, accept that she is doing so. Was chosen to be absent do not have As your next vacation approaches, you may find yourself having less fun.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
