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You missed us. You must have been lonely, right? Understood. Happy Wednesday everyone. So Joe Biden won big on Super Tuesday. he woke up. In other words, consider alternatives. But the president lost American Samoa, so when he found out, he said, “It’s too bad I liked their cookies so much.”
Donald Trump, on the other hand, went 14-1, losing only Vermont. Vermont has a population of more than 645,000 people and is what President Trump has called a “total loser.” Nikki Haley has suspended her presidential campaign following a series of Super Tuesday losses. Although she won 46 delegates compared to President Trump’s 731, she still considered it a success, proving once again that women can’t do math. Ahhh. shut up!
According to reports, the Biden administration secretly airlifted 320,000 illegal aliens to 43 airports. Joe claims that he has a lot in common with these people because they don’t speak English either. Hahaha. Charles Barkley said he would punch a black man in the face who wore a T-shirt with President Trump’s face on it. Fortunately, his victims don’t have to worry about him having a ring. Yeah.
Woke up officials at the Department of Veterans Affairs moved to ban the iconic photo of a kiss in Times Square during World War II from the agency’s buildings. That’s understandable. It is no longer suitable for today’s military. So they replace it with this. After waking up from a coma last summer, Madonna claims she had a conversation with God, who said: Come on, Kat, that was interesting.
Kat Timp: I like Madonna.
I know that, but oh, my me is weird anyway. Governor DeSantis announced that Florida will crack down on spring break festivities this year. From now on, underage co-eds who want to get drunk and have sex will have to go back to college. That’s true.
Hillary Clinton urged voters to accept the reality that Biden is older and re-elect her anyway, and Bill told Hillary to accept the reality that she will be on spring break.
Instagram was down for nearly four hours yesterday, leaving many people with no choice but to directly ask people if they liked the way their butts looked. That’s all you need. Facebook also suffered widespread outages, with around 500,000 users reporting they were unable to access their accounts. This is the first time something has happened to them.
Tyrus: You’re in an unusual mood tonight.
Yeah.
Tyrus: oh.
It’s an antibiotic. Kyrsten Sinema will not seek re-election to the U.S. Senate. However, she ends up hiring a consultant for her new wardrobe.
Tyrus: what happened to him?
I don’t know, rest in peace. An Oregon woman has earned a Guinness World Record for her unusually large tongue, measuring over 5 inches in circumference. In her acceptance speech she said: “Flap, flap, flap.” Okay, let’s do a monologue.
So as Trump marches toward victory in the primaries and Biden slowly disintegrates, we should get used to seeing media bashing stories at odd times. This week from Rolling Stone magazine. If you don’t remember the magazine, that’s bad.
More than just cocaine: Secret intelligence reveals another banned substance found in President Biden’s White House
Their recent article claims that drug use was rampant in President Trump’s White House. The headline reads, “President Trump’s White House was ‘all about speed’ — and Xanax,” and essentially says that President Trump’s White House is no different from the offices of Rolling Stone magazine. But here’s something strange. The rag’s investigation was prompted by a Pentagon report released in January detailing how the White House medical unit controlled drugs during the Trump administration. How nice that the Pentagon condemns them. Talk about deep state evidence. That information was obtained from the Pentagon before the election. It’s as if the timing and release were intended to undermine one candidate. Sounds like a big deal, right?
This is the ******* Department of Defense, everyone. There’s nothing else to focus on. They have billions of dollars of military equipment left behind in Afghanistan and are concerned about the use of Ambien by some insurgents in the West Wing. Lloyd Austin didn’t show up for a week. And they’re concerned that White House staffers stole Xanax four years ago. Is there anything better? Would it be like hiring an activist to oversee the disposal of nuclear energy waste? This guy has stickier fingers than Jeffrey Toobin.
As I know, this article concludes that White House documents failed to follow federal guidance by dispensing non-emergency management drugs such as Ambien and Provigil without verifying patient identity. . Now, for those who don’t know, Provigil helps you get out of your Ambien haze after a long flight. This is normal for people in positions that require travel, like reporters, politicians, and the drug mule who supplies Dana Perino with growth hormone. Yeah. And why did Rolling Stone call in the anonymous sources department to fill in the missing details?
Secret intelligence agency closes White House cocaine investigation, says it is ‘impossible’ to identify suspect
So, I wonder, are they the anonymous sources who gave us Russian collusion, the anonymous sources who told us the hell laptop was fake, or the anonymous sources who told us behind closed doors that Joe -Maybe this is the source who told us that Biden is as sharp as ever. I’m beginning to think that the unnamed source is one person who is a master of disguise. But I think it’s much easier to lie when no one knows you.
But what if that were true anyway? You know what that says. This shows that Trumpers thoroughly defeated Biden, even on drugs. When I think of the current White House, I think of Hunter and Cora and everything they inject into Joe to keep them right. Now, as anyone who has been close to users knows, cocaine can cause people to speak incoherently and to believe that they are not only smarter and overall better than they actually are, but also more effective. It’s a drug that makes you feel important. That’s why he’s known as Jesse on the street.
Tyrus: We can kill two birds with one stone tonight.
Yes, but the Biden family specializes in drugs aimed at escaping failure, but apparently President Trump’s White House was on drugs to make them work harder.
Prosecutors say there was cocaine residue in Hunter Biden’s gun pouch
In the Biden White House, people used drugs to cope with their lifeless boss. President Trump’s White House used drugs to keep it insane. According to the article, Trumpers took stimulants because they needed a boost of energy after a late night or because they wanted me to pick them up to cope with another day at a uniquely stressful job. Ok, that’s why I mix Ritalin in my office water cooler. But some Trumpers also claim to have taken Xanax to calm themselves while enduring extreme stress in America’s most high-pressure environments.
That is, they were using it as intended. Wow, there’s a story. What a scandal. What’s next? Revealed that John Bolton used a lice comb on his mustache? Do you regularly apply flea powder to your Amorosa? I know that, but these two writers still think this is an election-year scoop, saying, “As Trump pushes for a return to power, Complete elucidation is not simply a matter of historical interest.” It’s a preview of a very possible future. ”
So now, after decades of celebrating casual drug use, Rolling Stone is concerned about stimulant misuse. Don’t they remember who runs Rolling Stone magazine? Jan Wenner. A 2017 bio details how Coke was everywhere in the office. When Wenner “heard the office door slam, his Pavlovian reaction was to go find out who was doing the cocaine without him.”
Tyrus: Fuck.
Rolling Stone, what’s up? The name should be changed to kidney stones, ossified ****. But forget Rolling Stone’s past. What is the current state of media? Do the two idiots who wrote this crap realize that they were just describing a drug that fuels their entire profession? Xanax and Adderall are deeply entrenched in the information industry, where drug tests are used to confirm drug addiction.
Hunter Biden’s cell phone contained multiple photos of cocaine, crack cocaine and drug paraphernalia: Department of Justice
So what happens if some of President Trump’s staff members receive prescriptions? If you’re around Mike Pence all day, you’re going to need meth.
In fact, the only things that were higher than Hunter during Biden’s time in the White House were egg prices and, yes, Trump’s current polling numbers. That’s why stories like this pop up. Joe is in serious danger, so expect all kinds of attacks to be fired at the Big Orange. More lawsuits, more false claims, more sex, more drugs, more urine. I’m already starting to miss Larry Kudrow’s hot tub.
They will become increasingly desperate as Mr. Trump racks up victories in the primaries. And that’s coming from me, people, not from anonymous sources.
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