A Reddit user sparked a family dispute by refusing to push his extremely obese cousin around in a wheelchair over the weekend, but therapists and other social media users said there was nothing wrong with pointing out the impracticality of the plan.
“AITA you pushed your obese cousin in a wheelchair for a day and refused to walk?” “OneSoreSpine” asked in a June 28 post on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.
The poster also told Fox News Digital on Saturday that he “never expected this much response” to the personal drama.
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The poster, who did not provide her age or gender, wrote that her cousin weighs nearly 600 pounds and uses a motorized wheelchair. She cannot walk without pain.
“In July she [the cousin] “She was attending a wedding out of state and since I’m not currently working and have no plans, she asked me for a taxi to get her to and from the event,” OneSoreSpine said.
A Reddit user revealed that their extremely obese cousin usually uses an electric scooter to get around because walking is painful for him. (iStock)
But this creates another problem: The electric scooter won’t fit in Wansawpine’s Kia Optima, “which means his cousin will have to use a wheelchair,” the source wrote.
“The problem is that this event is taking place in a public park and it’s difficult to push a wheelchair even on paved ground, let alone on grass or dirt,” Wansawspain said.
To resolve the issue, the Reddit poster tried to contact a local medical equipment distributor, but “they were unable to lease the scooter in this case due to its off-road use.”
“I can barely push my wheelchair on paved surfaces, let alone grass or dirt.”
OneSoreSpine wrote: “My aunt and uncle won’t let me borrow the truck my cousin normally uses for transportation… I’m pretty [terrible] “Driving history”
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My cousin’s father has health problems that prevent him from driving, and his mother can’t afford to take time off work.
“We considered renting a car to carry the scooter, but my cousin can’t afford it and obviously I can’t afford it either as I’m unemployed,” OneSoreSpine said.
“We considered renting a car that could fit the scooter, but my cousin can’t afford it,” one Reddit poster wrote about the family’s difficulties. (iStock)
However, the wedding organizers came up with a different solution, but according to OneSoreSpine, the cousins didn’t like the idea.
“The best solution anyone has come up with is to bring flatbeds to parties. [trailer] “They use it to transport supplies from their car and my cousin says he would be humiliated if he was transported like that,” a Reddit poster shared.
“My cousin says she would be humiliated to be rolled like that.”
“My cousin is furious with me that I’m humiliating her by saying she can’t push her, but I think it’s the honest truth,” OneSoreSpine said.
The Reddit user added: “My cousin has done so much for me so I feel bad turning him down, but I’ve explored all my options at this point.”
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“Are you kidding me? You’re not going to go to college and give it a shot,” the person then asked other Redditors. The poster also asked other Redditors to refrain from making derogatory comments about the cousin.
‘A lot of effort’
A therapist specializing in eating disorders and body image told Fox News Digital on Saturday that she was confident the Reddit user had done everything she could to improve the situation, and that her cousin’s reaction was likely a projection of her own feelings of helplessness.
“The author seems to have put in a lot of effort to find a unique way to help. [the] “It’s wonderful to see my cousin doing this,” Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital in an email.
According to a Reddit user, the wedding will be held in a public park, so the cousins won’t be able to walk from the parking lot to the wedding location. The therapist said the two people involved need to have an “open conversation” about the family feud. (iStock)
OneSoreSpine “clearly wants to give back in any way possible [the] “Their cousin helped them out,” Goldberg said, adding that the “empathy is clear” from Reddit users.
Goldberg said, [OneSoreSpine] Have an open conversation or text first. [the] Cousin, it’s time to digest the information.”
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OneSoreSpine suggests saying something like, “‘I really want to support you through this and I will continue to support you in other ways, but I feel limited in this situation and can’t help you unless we find another solution,'” Goldberg says. “‘I’m so sorry and it pains me to have to decline. I’ve tried many different ways to make this work and it hasn’t worked. Let me know if you have any other ideas or if there’s any way I can help you that isn’t wedding-related.'”
“It may be easier to blame someone else than to introspect on your own challenges.”
The cousin’s reaction when told One Spine couldn’t force her “maybe it was just because it was hard for her to accept that these restrictions meant she couldn’t attend the wedding,” Goldberg said.
She added, “It may be easier to blame someone else than to introspect on your own challenges.”
“Let me know if you have any other ideas or if there’s any way I can help you that isn’t wedding-related.” The therapist suggested the Reddit poster share this type of message and more with a cousin who needs transportation help for her wedding. (iStock)
Reddit users agreed: Of the more than 3,000 replies to the post, nearly everyone said that OneSoreSpine was right when she said she couldn’t walk by pushing her cousin in a wheelchair.
“Honestly, it sounds like you’ve tried every solution. I don’t understand why your cousin is so mad at you,” Reddit user “Having-hope3594” said in one of the most-liked comments.
“It’s also a safety issue.”
Many Reddit users shared their own stories of when they had to assist a family member who uses a wheelchair and how it subsequently affected their body.
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“NTA. It’s also a safety issue,” user Mental-Coconut-7854 said in another top comment.
The same commenter continued, “My brother pushed my mom (150 lbs) around a street fair on relatively clean pavement and his back hurt for days. The wheelchair is also necessary for her safety. If she struggles in her wheelchair she might fall out.”
Others pointed out that cars like the Kia Optima aren’t built to handle 600 pounds on one wheel.
Reddit users pointed out that the whole plan involving the cousin was unrealistic and that OneSoreSpine was not wrong to deny the request. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
“Unless you’re in a pickup truck and she’s in the back seat, your car isn’t built for that kind of heavy work,” Reddit user “Rare-City6847” said.
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“Maybe this will be a wake up call for her? She’s too big for the wedding,” Rare-City6847 added.
In response to a query from Fox News Digital, OneSoreSpine said they had no updates to share on the situation other than that they still felt hurt by their cousin’s response.
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“I didn’t expect to get this many replies and I’m sorry because I want to be able to answer questions when they come up,” Wansawspain told Fox News Digital.
“But I really appreciate their encouragement and their feedback on things I hadn’t thought of.”
