II'm going to ask you a personal question, but can you promise me that you won't take it the wrong way? wonderful. Maybe you have a tendency towards martyrdom? I ask this because when the Christmas season approaches, women's urge to sacrifice their own fun and free time to do something for others is especially strong. Write a card to someone you haven't talked to all year. I'm making sloe gin to give as a gift. Buy a sock gift for your dog. Fill your Notes app with endless lists.
The complexity of martyrdom comes from a good place, but if we don't take our eyes off it, it's not only pointless (spoiler alert: dogs don't care), it's counterproductive. I promise you, your friends would much rather arrive at a drinking party clutching a warm bottle of supermarket prosecco and feeling great than bringing home-made gifts and ending up tired and awkward.
What does this have to do with fashion? This super cute lace blouse might be perfect for a party? In fact, there are so many! It's the season to dress up again. Flashy attire. The key to enjoying the process of dressing up is to not think of it as just another bullet point on your to-do list. Once you've sourced a vegan stuffing recipe and dressed up your reindeer costume for the school play, your party attire is more than just a fancy item.
Glamor can feel like even more of the invisible, time-consuming things that women are expected to do, but many, if not all, men do it all. I ignore it without thinking about it. Remember your friend's child's birthday. Check your refrigerator before work to see if you need to buy milk and salad during lunch time. Iron your party clothes, put mascara on, and make them tick. But wearing a wonderful snowy lace blouse, which is totally impractical to wear to do housework, is something you can and should do for yourself. This is an act of resistance against the urge to martyrdom. Dressing up can be a way to set valid boundaries for your right to be yourself and have fun.
Sometimes fashion is about striving for others. For example, a great wedding guest outfit is part of your friend behavior and truly honors someone's big day. But dressing up for the party season, when the festive spirit belongs to all of us, can be a way to assert your right to fun and enjoyment for yourself. And especially this year, when Miranda July's All Fours is on the bedside table of most women I know, it's time to put society's expectations aside and focus on your own needs and needs this Christmas season. It feels like a good time to remember that it's important to pay attention to your desires. An important part of feeling alive.
I think racing is a good place to start. The fabric has a sense of occasion. I went to the Prada catwalk show in Milan in 2008, I think it was about twice a week, and it was all about lace. A thick caramel-toned Swiss lace shirt was buttoned to the throat and tucked into a Fanta orange pencil skirt of the same fabric. Transparent black lace dress. I wear a blue cotton shirt underneath as a slip. Backstage after the show, Miuccia Prada said she fell in love with lace because it traces landmarks in women's lives: christening gowns, wedding dresses, bedroom lingerie, mourning clothes. The feminine drama surrounding race gives it the right energy. This is dressing up as an act of rebellion when the mundane things of life are trying their best to overwhelm you.
My latest obsession is lace trimmed skirts. I'm eyeing a midi-length slip skirt with fuchsia or black wavy lace trim (£39.50) from M&S. But for now, I'm crossing my fingers and holding on to the lace-trimmed black Christopher Kane miniskirt I've wanted ever since I saw it in his show 10 years ago. I found it on eBay. No, I won't share that link, sorry. Sometimes fashion should be purely selfish fun.
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Hair & Makeup: Sophie Higginson, Sam McKnight and Victoria Beckham Beauty. Styling assistant: Sam Dieman. Blouse: £220 Essentiel Antwerp. Skirts are available at cos.com. Earrings: £17.99 Zaracom. Model: Milk Major.
