This essay is drawn from a conversation with Kim Hunter Boest, a 57-year-old medical professional based in New York City.
My husband and I tied the knot a bit later in life. I was 42 and he was 49, already having two kids. I viewed myself as the fun person in our family. We used to think we were always just one step away from making more money.
Working in healthcare, I thought my main job was just to weather the economic storms. But when I had to let some employees go in 2016, it hit me that, even with our decent salaries, we didn’t have any financial safety net. We were living paycheck to paycheck.
I found it hard to admit our financial situation
After those layoffs, I took a deep dive into our finances and discovered we were $69,000 in debt. Our eldest son was getting ready for college, so losing jobs meant dipping into our savings for tuition. Earlier, a mentor had advised me to invest 3% in my 401(k), leading me to save around $219,000. My husband, having been divorced before, had managed to save about $17,000. I didn’t want the stress of debt hanging over me—I desired to be debt-free and not reliant on credit cards.
In our 40s with established careers, it felt shameful to admit we were in financial trouble. I’m not embarrassed about it anymore, but during that time, we justified skipping vacations with friends instead of facing the fact that travel was simply out of our budget.
We started cutting back—cancelling unnecessary cable services, choosing more affordable mobile carriers, and avoiding unnecessary trips to stores.
By 2018, we managed to pay off our debt, and then we began exploring what to do with our finances moving forward. That’s when I stumbled upon the concept of financial independence.
I figured that the best approach for us was to keep investing in our 401(k) plans and pensions. Whenever I received a raise, I’d check if there was anything else I needed in my life, and the answer was always no, so we’d invest the extra cash.
I hesitated about retiring
By 2021, we felt ready to consider retirement. However, it was daunting to think about not receiving my salary, so I postponed quitting for another year. I was also feeling somewhat trapped by the comfort of my job’s financial security.
I knew my family might think I was out of my mind for leaving a job that paid $200,000 a year. Plus, I had tied my identity closely to my work.
At some point, my husband expressed that he felt like my fourth priority amid my many commitments. In 2023, he had a serious heart attack. Sitting in the hospital, I reflected on his words and realized I wouldn’t want him to think that he wasn’t a priority in my life.
Quitting wasn’t easy
If he hadn’t pulled through, I would have regretted missing the time with him because of work. Once he was out of the woods, I told him we were officially retired.
Still, it took me a year to discuss retirement with my employer. I crunched the numbers repeatedly and ran through a lot of worst-case scenarios with friends, spending time contemplating who I was outside of my job.
Eventually, everything fell into place as I recognized that being a mom and wife came before being a strategist. Starting in March, I officially retired just before my 58th birthday.
With this newfound time, I launched retreats focused on financial planning for women, organized community events, and planned more trips. I’m eager to do what I want, at least for a while, without the pressure of an alarm clock.
