Dear Abby Responses
Dear Abby: My husband works out of state for an oil drilling company, spending 20 days each month away. He comes home for 10 days, and during that time, we might only have two days where we really connect. The rest of his time is usually spent outside, glued to his phone.
Recently, I had spinal surgery, and I thought he’d be there for me. The doctor advised him to be attentive after the procedure, which meant keeping an eye on me for 24 hours. But just a few hours in, he decided it was okay to leave so he could hang out with friends. I was asleep when he left, and when I woke up, I was in pain.
I called him, and he seemed irritated as usual, asking if he could spend time with his friends. I said it was fine and hung up. He returned a couple of hours later, and we talked, but then he left again. Honestly, I’m struggling to find a way to communicate without causing tension. Am I in the wrong? – Isolated Husband’s Wife
Dear Wife: You’re not in the wrong here. It might be a good idea to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you both are living almost like separate individuals most of the time.
Your husband doesn’t seem like the nurturing type, and I wonder how he’d react if the roles were reversed, if you spent time with your friends instead. I’m holding back on some words to describe your “better half,” but honestly, I feel you deserve better. I really do sympathize with your situation.
Dear Abby: I’m a 59-year-old man who has been single since my wife left me. Since the divorce, I’ve been trying to regain my footing, both financially and emotionally. I agreed to terms without legal help and settled for a smaller sum so she could buy me out of the house we shared for 23 years. I’m getting better, and I think about dating again.
I have a chronic cough and see a nurse practitioner who calls me “Susan.” She’s professional and kind, and I find her quite attractive, even if she’s several years younger than me. I know professional boundaries, but what’s your advice? – Go to Massachusetts
Go ahead: You didn’t mention how long your divorce took, but it sounds like you haven’t really started dating yet. The only woman you know well right now is your nurse, who maintains professionalism.
If you’re keen on meeting women, it’s time to get out there and socialize a bit. While it’s fine to have feelings, I’d advise against pursuing anything with Susan. It might create discomfort in your future interactions with her.
