Letter to Dear Abby

Dear Abby: I used to be a housewife. I handled all the cooking, cleaning, and various responsibilities. Now that I’m working again—because I can be pretty strict—things have changed.

So, I cook, and we eat together. He usually sits down to watch TV while I clean up. When I ask him to help out, he accuses me of nagging. Honestly, it’s making me feel more and more depressed. Can you offer any advice? – Calm down in the south

Dear Feelings: It seems like you’re married to someone who has traditional views. He’s used to working while you took care of the home. Now that you’re back in the workforce, he doesn’t seem to remember the principle of mutual support at home.

Your partner might need a wake-up call. Times have changed, and he should contribute more fairly. It’s worth having a conversation to come to a fairer arrangement.

PS: Maybe you’re more exhausted from doing double duty than just feeling down about it. Just something to think about.

Dear Abby: I’m the type of person who expresses love through gifts. I love cooking, knitting, sewing, and picking out presents for my loved ones. However, I’ve noticed that when I buy gifts for my fiancé, he tends to check the prices. He doesn’t outright say that I’m spending too little, but he often mentions that I’m spending “too much” on him.

It struck me as rude, and I confronted him. I told him it’s none of his business how much I spend. Am I wrong to feel this way? – Give yourself in Illinois

Dear Gift: I think maybe you reacted a bit too defensively. Instead of confronting him, you could have approached the situation differently. Perhaps he was trying to suggest that it matters more how you value the gift than the price tag. You could say, “I cherish you and enjoy choosing things that I think you’ll love. Please stop focusing on the cost.”

It’s also important to discuss finances together, especially as you move towards marriage.

Dear Abby: My 19-year-old son is on the autism spectrum. He’s highly functional but left home. Although he’s technically an adult, he struggles with basic life skills like balancing a checkbook or using a debit card. His understanding of the world mainly comes from online friends.

It’s been four months since he changed his phone number, and I have no way to reach him. He’s traveling across the country to visit online friends, and I’m really worried about him. What should I do? I don’t contact him often, but when I do, I express my love and avoid anything negative. – Lost in California

Dear Lost: Four months already? If you have his current address, maybe it’s time for you—along with any co-parents—to pay him a visit and see how he’s doing. If he’s not responding to calls or texts, he might need that personal connection.