Dear Abby: A Family’s Grief
Last year, my son, along with his girlfriend and two friends, was tragically murdered outside our city. It was an unimaginable horror. My other two sons received a call saying they were heading to their father’s house. My son was the first to see the aftermath of the scene, and they promptly called 911. He survived for two more days, and today would have been his birthday. His brother witnessed things that no one should ever have to see.
My youngest son, now 32, has become reclusive. It’s as if he’s transformed—something we all have, to some extent. I’m truly worried about him. He used to be such a laid-back, sweet guy, but his patience seems to have vanished, and he gets angry quickly. I invited him to take a short vacation with me, but he said no. He claims he doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to be around people. But I think we both know the reason.
How can I encourage him to seek counseling? I also withdrew from social interactions for about three months after the tragedy, but I received counseling during that time. I’m not quite sure what the next step should be. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. – I live in a nightmare
Dear Life: My heart goes out to you and your family as you navigate this heartbreak. It sounds like your son might benefit from counseling, though he seems resistant to the idea. Perhaps you could suggest he look into support groups. One such group, Parents of Murdered Children (POMC), offers emotional support for those affected by similar tragedies and has been helping families since 1978. Their website is pomc.org; I hope he’s open to exploring it.
Dear Abby: A Concern for My Granddaughter
My 17-year-old granddaughter is in a relationship with a 19-year-old boy, and he recently confessed to me that he’s been drinking alcohol. He found a place where they don’t check IDs. Initially, he would have a beer or two on the weekends, but now he drinks every weekend and is often intoxicated during the week. He mentioned my granddaughter is aware, but I doubt she knows how serious it is.
They talk about their future together, and I can’t help but worry about his drinking. Having seen the damage alcohol has caused in my own family, I’m deeply concerned. He claims he won’t become an alcoholic, but that can often sneak up on someone. Is there anything I can do to help them? Aside from drinking, he’s genuinely a lovely and respectful young man. – A Concerned Grandma from Ohio
Dear Grandma: From what you’ve shared, it sounds like this young man is developing a dependence on alcohol, which is alarming. It’s crucial to warn your granddaughter about the implications this could have on her future. Additionally, if you can find out where minors are obtaining alcohol, I suggest reporting that to the appropriate authorities.
