A study suggests that couples who are fighting should take a five-second break to prevent emotions from reaching a boiling point.
Taking a breather during an argument can act as a firebreak that prevents the argument from escalating, defuses differences, and avoids the need for costly counseling.
Psychologists at the University of St. Andrews conducted an experiment on 81 couples and published the results. Nature Magazine.
Anna McCurry, a doctoral student in the university’s psychology and neuroscience department, said breaks of just five seconds were just as effective as longer forced breaks.
“It may sound obvious, but this is the first time we’ve experimentally demonstrated that aggression decreases after a forced break. Forcing couples to take a five-second break was just as effective as a 10- or 15-second break, showing that even short breaks can help to de-escalate arguments,” said McCurry, who led the experiment with his supervisors Dr Robert May and Professor David Donaldson.
“This is a simple, free, and effective hack for reducing negative emotions during arguments. It’s cheaper than couples therapy and can be easily implemented into your everyday interactions.”
To measure the effects of forced breaks, the study induced conflict by having couples participate in a competitive game in which each partner had to play an annoying sound at a volume of their choosing. Couples participated in 30 rounds of the game, with breaks enforced at different intervals.
Advanced AI and machine learning were used to analyze emotional responses captured by a 360-degree camera with on-board audio.
McCurry and his colleagues found that couples tend to match each other’s levels of aggression, even when those levels are high, but that enforcing a short break interrupted this pattern of retaliation and reduced overall aggression.
However, this strategy has limitations and is intended to manage low-level conflict and prevent escalation into more serious conflicts caused by the arousal of negative emotions and reduced ability to regulate emotions.
“This approach doesn’t apply to domestic violence,” McCulley says. “It’s about managing run-of-the-mill arguments that happen every day between couples and can escalate.”
