Greg Gutfeld: The Feds asked US banks to spy on Republicans

Yes, everyone, have a nice Thursday! Hahaha. Okay, okay. They use their powers to spy on the right wing. A new report from the House Judiciary Committee reveals that under the pretext of the Jan. 6 investigation, the Fed asked banks to investigate transactions that showed signs of domestic violent extremism. .

The problem, according to Rep. Jim Jordan, is that the Treasury Department has asked banks to investigate using terms like “Trump” and “MAGA.” To track gun purchases, they asked banks to search for terms like, I don't know, “Bass Pro Shops” or “Dick's Sporting Goods.” So if you bought a jockstrap at Dick's, you could be on a federal hit list for domestic violent extremists. Fortunately, I knitted it myself. You will need two balls of yarn.

'Alarming' surveillance: Fed asks banks to search for private transactions for terms like 'MAGA' and 'Trump'

But domestic violent extremism, that's quite a mouthful, right? Why not shorten this to what Fed really means: Republican. Of course now they are using January 6th to justify all this. They use it to justify everything. They're trying to cram more stuff under that umbrella than Chris Christie on a nude beach. Honestly, I don't think anyone has gotten more out of one date since Meghan Markle got back together with Prince Harry. A bit of British humor.

Indeed, January 6th is more milked than “Octomum.” There is a callback. But in this case, the excuse is as weak as Joe's urine flow. According to Fox Digital, the Treasury Department's excuse is that the raid actually began under the previous administration. I think everyone is already in a hole. Also, she has two full shovels. That way, Joe and Hunter will be able to talk to their Chinese partners face-to-face. Because if that's true, and if, in fact, the Treasury Department had used search terms like “Trump” and “MAGA” while Trump was still in office, then a sitting U.S. president like John Kerry after Botox treatment This means that they were surveying the supporters of . , that's not an improvement.

Now, our president is the head of the executive branch, and the Treasury Department is under that executive branch. In other words, they were conducting an investigation against their superiors. I mean, it's like Kat investigating me, and no, I'm not licking the sweat off your hair extensions. becomes terrible.

House Republicans investigate U.S. Bank for “voluntarily'' providing customer list to FBI from January 6th

According to Jordan, Bank of America is investigating individuals who made credit card transactions in the Washington, D.C., area between January 5 and January 7, 2021, as well as customers who previously purchased firearms and hotel purchases. He also provided the list to the FBI. , travel to his Airbnb or airline within the specified date range. Always use cash when joining the rebellion and be careful to sleep on Shannon Bream's couch. Bank of America reportedly did all this without seeking a warrant, but they're still called Bank of America, or rather Stank of America, right? I figured it out.

Fortunately, I don't use that bank anymore. I have a Nigerian prince and he controls all my money. His name is Charles Payne. BofA, on the other hand, conducts warrantless searches on behalf of the Feds, but the search criteria are so broad that they will inevitably find more innocent people than targets. This is considered an effective use of the country's investigative resources. Just a few months after our city virtually burned to the ground during the Summer of Brotherly Love 2020. If they wore red hats, it would be called a civil war.

In response to these allegations that it assisted the FBI, BofA maintains that it was acting on instructions from the Treasury Department. Or is this whole case starting to sound like a flute loop? Old-school lawyers call this self-investigation like licking yourself an ice cream cone. But it's also Joe Biden's Secret Service code name. But other words for it could be unethical or even illegal. It's like President Trump asking his Planned Parenthood for all records on women who have abortions, people who buy electric cars, and people with IQs below 70. Because, in fact, FBI Director Steve Jensen reportedly saw this information and ordered it deleted. Reed was removed from the FBI system because there were no allegations of federal criminal activity. That might be the understatement of the year, vomit-inducing on the heels of “The View.”

House of Commons inquiry into 'what really happened on January 6th' enters 'new phase' with support from Speaker Johnson

So let's ask the FBI. We're investigating someone who previously bought a gun and he traveled to D.C. before the inauguration. Has the name Hunter ever come up? Just to be clear, I is referring to the name Hunter, not the noun Hunter. If not, I'd be happy to arrest this guy instead. Yes, that's Donald Trump Jr. on the right.

The FBI declined to comment, according to Fox Digital, as the feds try to get through Nov. 5 to decide whether they need to retire, but comments are closed at this point. I don't think so. This, like anal warts and Joy Reed, feels like he's one of them, although they don't go away easily. Ha! I asked him to show me a picture of Joy Reid.

In the meantime, there is a lesson here for those of us who may oppose the regime. If you want to buy a Wiffle ball bat at Dick's, pay cash. If you're going to eat at Cracker Barrel, wear a disguise. If you ever stand for the national anthem, watch your back and, please, make sure your tax return is perfect. Otherwise, it may be time to start living your life in obscurity. Assume a safe identity, register as a Democrat, and declare yourself a non-citizen. If binary, send her 1-2 donations to Planned Parenthood or change her name to Biden.

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You don't even have to pay taxes, but you have to pay 10% to daddy.