As a mother, I’ve always been ambivalent about the old saying, “It takes a village.” It would be great if another mom offered to drive your child to a laser tag birthday party an hour away. It’s not very appealing when a stranger offers unsolicited parenting advice while you’re dealing with a meltdown in the toy aisle at Target.
My children are now well into their teens. That means I don’t have to give rides to the kids often (they and their friends can…gulp…drive themselves), and friends and bystanders offer rides in their cars. less likely to. Tips for raising your own children.
A lot can go wrong, especially if you purposefully make a small name for yourself with your own dreams.
why? Well, teenagers (at least in my case) don’t really like being told in the third person. And on a Tuesday afternoon, they’ll gladly respond to even the kindest of suggestions with cringe-inducing, ego-destroying statements that most people aren’t prepared to handle.
Also, let’s be honest, for better or worse, teenagers are more or less already formed. Whatever development awaits them, they don’t offer the attractive blank canvas of, say, a 4-year-old.
And without blood ties, would any sane person want to participate in such endless interactions?
why are you screaming?
Because I asked for it 19 times and it didn’t work.
I sometimes miss my baby days, but I’m equally grateful for the progress I’ve made.Especially since I recently read an article about new moms. Pay for parenting advice on Instagram.
There but for the grace of God I will go there.
While in the womb and throughout their first few years, my children showed many signs of the best future I had envisioned for them. Admittedly, I consoled myself with my lack of sleep. They’ll be the Nobel Prize winners, supermodels, and Olympians I dreamed of when morning sickness turns into nausea all day long.
Everyone could see the signs. Labor began on the very day the gynecologist predicted each birth. Throughout early childhood, they kept their heads up and rolled over ahead of their developmental schedule and hit their goals ahead of schedule, sometimes days ahead of schedule.
Obviously, this was an omen. My blessed offspring was perfect for fulfilling my life’s dreams. What awaits them on the road to conquering the world and becoming the Millennium Mother?
Many things turned out. A lot can go wrong, especially if you purposefully make a small name-calling with your own dreams.
Children are human beings. Even sentient, separate, and imperfect individuals…have their own opinions about everything, including the trajectory of their own lives. Nerves.
But even if my descendants were to realize my strange dreams, I would still be myself. Sure, I may have been the mother of humanity’s next evolution, but I’m still writing this about a minute before the deadline for a flawed, non-production version of my “best self.” It will remain.
Ironically, what I feel most about is the rebellious attitude of my children. Like me, my children are strong-willed. Their ferocity drives me crazy in many ways, but it always screams, and often screams into Chardonnay.
At times like this, I feel like my strong will is getting in the way. I bang my head against a metaphorical wall. I work on strange causes that take up a lot of my energy, time, and focus. I see my descendants leaning towards the same windmill.
Still, I have to admit that my strong will is also beneficial to me. I persist. For career obstacles, chronic illnesses, and family issues. Some of what I first perceived as stubbornness in children often turns out to be persistence.
Like a distorted image of an entertainment venue, my children reflect distorted versions of my best and worst traits. When I see the worst version of myself at 34, 16, or 11, I know that gene editing technology will evolve so that only the best of me and my descendants will be reflected in my grandchildren. Pray.
But they don’t. So I take a deep breath and dig deep until I find faith. I pray for the means to lead my mighty descendants to worthy ends.
In other words, let go and let God. I’ve heard worse advice.
