Mel Robbins, an author and podcast host, recently talked about her struggle with flight anxiety and shared a mental technique that she claims has helped her manage it.
In a recent episode of her podcast, Delusion Diary, she discussed this technique with hosts Harry Kate and Jazz.
Based in Vermont, Robbins mentioned that flying anxiety often isn’t about the plane itself. Rather, it stems from overwhelming thoughts—like fears of crashing or loss of control—while in the air.
“You feel anxious because you start thinking about the plane crashing, dying, and your life ending,” she explained.
To combat this sense of anxiety, Robbins outlined a strategy she refers to as “anchor thinking.” This involves picturing specific, positive experiences that will happen after the flight.
This method gives your mind something concrete to latch onto when fear begins to creep in, she emphasized.
During their conversation, Robbins encouraged Kate, who was preparing to travel to Venice, to imagine in detail what she wanted to do once she arrived. Engaging the five senses, she said, helps make that image stick in the mind, which can be handy when anxiety heightens during the flight.
“Your mind can’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s anchored in your thoughts,” Robbins added.
Having this mental image ready helps shift your focus when fear starts to set in, steering it away from worst-case scenarios.
Robbins acknowledged that while this approach might not erase anxiety entirely, it could lessen its intensity over time.
Jonathan Alpert, a psychotherapist based in New York and author of “Therapy Nation,” pointed out that fear of flying usually isn’t so much about safety. He explained that it’s often about recognizing feelings of uncertainty and lack of control.
“Many people aren’t reacting to the actual safety of flying; they’re fixating on those ‘what ifs’ that fuel their anxiety,” he noted.
The flying culture itself, Alpert stated, can heighten anxiety levels for many travelers. All the congestion at gates, delays, and viral videos of chaotic incidents contribute to this stress. By the time a person boards, their nervous system is already on high alert.
He advised practical steps to help manage this anxiety: focusing on things within our control, practicing calming routines, and reducing time spent on distressing news before boarding a flight. “Remember, discomfort itself isn’t dangerous,” Alpert reiterated.
