Dear Abby: I am a retired person with diabetes and heart disease. My husband is disabled and I am his sole caregiver when I am able. Our adult daughter lives with us and works full time in healthcare on weekends. She does very little around the house.
The real problem is that we have 4 dogs, 2 of which are large and all 4 spend a lot of time inside the house. The youngest is a puppy and already weighs 50 pounds. She is uncontrollable. She jumps on me, bites me, claws at my arms, barks, etc. I have had dogs all my life and have never seen a dog behave like this.
I was against getting a puppy, but my husband and daughter were against it. Of course, once the novelty wore off, it became my responsibility to feed the puppy, clean up after it, and take care of it. I asked my daughter to train it as she had promised, but she always had an excuse.
Abby, I am exhausted! I want to say “dog or me” but I have nowhere else to go. My husband can barely move and is often bedridden. I had in-home care last year but that ended when Medicare stopped paying. I can barely manage to take care of my husband and everything that needs to be done. Too many dogs. Please help! –– Overwhelmed in Texas
To those who are overwhelmed: I know you’re exhausted, but enough is enough. Gather the strength to advocate for your own health. Does your daughter pay for food and rent? If not, give her a list of chores you expect her to do, including starting dog training classes for the animal she insists on adding to the family. If she refuses, contact an animal rescue group and ask them to find a new home for the animal. And follow through.
P.S. A large dog that is not well trained can trip you or your husband and cause a fall, which could be disastrous. If your daughter ever decides to leave the house, she can take the dog with her. Problem solved.
Dear Abby: I have a question about invitation etiquette: I want to invite family and friends that I haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time to a special event, like a child’s birthday party or christening, but I don’t want to seem like I’m soliciting gifts or money.
I’ve heard that asking “no gift needed” on an invitation is inappropriate because it assumes a gift will be given. What is the proper etiquette in this case? I would like to meet the family, but don’t want to offend them. — Celebrate in New York
Dear Celebrate: I don’t understand why family members would be offended if they were invited to a child’s birthday party. If they want to attend, that’s fine. If they can’t attend, that’s fine too. But a child’s birthday party needs some kind of gift, and it shouldn’t be a pain to prepare something. Any relatives or friends that the child is invited to will automatically bring a gift.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and launched by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at http://www.DearAbby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
