Dear Abby: When we go out as a family, my 30-year-old billionaire son never pays. He eats more than any of us, but he never reaches into his wallet even to help with tips. This has been going on for years and his wife always defends him. I’ve given up trying to fix it.
I’m writing this article because my son always criticizes the amount of tips I leave. I usually leave something in the 15%-18% range and he finds it uncomfortable. He works in the hospitality industry and claims 20% is the lowest. When I ask him to top up the tip, he says, “If you don’t want to tip properly, you shouldn’t go out to eat.”
I’m a retired teacher. The idea of tipping a waiter $45 for carrying a plate for 10 minutes seems ridiculous to me. He says the tips are shared with the entire staff and are how they feed their families.
I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to go out with my family anymore, so I’d like to hear your opinions. His last bill was $150, to which he added a $28 tip, only to be shamed and humiliated by being called a cheapskate who should be ashamed of himself. — Texas Fair Dad
To dad: Tipping rules have changed in recent years. Previously it was thought that a range of 15%-18% was appropriate, but that is no longer the norm. 20 percent or more is now the norm. But it’s beyond rude for the son of a millionaire to criticize you for the amount of tip you left (while refusing to top up the tip).He’s biting the hand that just fed him, and you and My wife should point this out.
Dear Abby: I am a single woman who has been with the same man for 13 years. Before that, we had been married for 35 years. I’ve never betrayed anyone I’ve been with. Many of my male friends (married and single) have hit on me. Maybe it’s because most people don’t see me and my boyfriend going out. When they come at me, I tell them I’ll tell their wife or girlfriend. I’m an honest person, so very few men would do anything more than that.
The husband of a couple I know builds decks. I hired him to make it. I always appreciated his relationship with his wife and how he treated me as a woman and as a friend. He was a rare true gentleman. And then one day when he was here building my deck, it came to me. I told him that was not the case and that I respected his wife and marriage more than he did. Needless to say, I was heartbroken and disappointed.
Abby, he really wants to plead against his wife because he hasn’t finished the job I paid him to do. Shouldn’t she be grateful to me instead of hating me? How should I deal with this? — crying in illinois
Dear crying friends: Address this by finding someone to complete your deck project for you. Take him to small claims court and get your money back, or go to Judge Judy and have this arrogant scoundrel eviscerated.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
