Dear Abby:

I’m a high school freshman living with my dad and stepmom. They’re good parents to me and my brother, but they have some pretty strong homophobic views. I love going to church with them, but I’m also in a same-gender relationship. Recently, they found out about it and, as a punishment, they’ve decided to pull me out of school and homeschool me to cut me off from everyone.

What they don’t realize is that I’m really confused about my identity and my feelings. Is it possible to be both a Christian and a lesbian? Whenever I try to talk to them about it, they just shut me down and call me disgusting. What should I do to help them understand that I need to discuss this? – A High Schooler in Kentucky

Dear “Who”:

Absolutely, someone can identify as both LGBTQ and Christian, but it may be challenging within your parents’ religious community. There are supportive denominations like the Anglican Church, Presbyterian Church, United Methodist Church, United Church of Christ, and the Metropolitan Community Church. Your parents might be afraid as they believe you were “chosen” to be this way.

There are online resources that can provide comfort and guidance in figuring yourself out. One helpful organization is the Trevor Project, which focuses on crisis intervention for LGBTQ youth and offers support 24/7.

PFLAG is another fantastic resource—it’s not just for you, but also for your parents. Founded in 1973 by a mother and her gay son, it has become a vital source for educational materials. You can find them at pflag.org.

Dear Abby:

Twenty years ago, my daughter, Tina, was in a toxic marriage that ended with her husband’s overdose. Recently, her mother passed away, and while going through some old files, I found a plain white envelope containing several letters written by Tina’s husband just before his death. Now, I’m unsure what to do with them.

I worry that giving them to Tina might force her to relive a painful time in her life. Yet, I think she should be the one to decide what happens to those letters. She has not only survived but has built a wonderful life for herself. – A Concerned Dad in Florida

Dear Dad:

You mentioned finding these letters among “old papers” that belonged to your wife. It’s curious they weren’t sent directly to Tina. If they were meant for her, why didn’t she receive them? If she gets them, she might already know what they contain from her mother. It might be best to talk to Tina first to see if she’s aware of them. If she isn’t, consider offering the letters to her.