Even before your baby comes into the world, your life will completely change.
When a baby arrives, expectant mothers and new moms are filled with a range of complicated emotions, from pure bliss to the often overwhelming stress of caring for a newborn.
The first few months of a new mom’s life are a time of change, and new moms should use these first months of motherhood to be flexible and celebrate their growing family.
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Hannah Keeley, a Virginia-based parenting expert, master certified life coach and mother of seven, spoke to Fox News Digital about her advice for new moms during the first few months after baby arrives.
- Limit your screen time and give your brain a break
- Embrace the new normal
- Don’t try to balance
- Allow yourself to set boundaries
- Don’t feel obligated to accept all the advice that comes your way.
- Get outside in some way every day
Parenting expert Hannah Keeley (pictured) shared her advice for new moms going through the first few months of motherhood in an interview with Fox News Digital. (Desiray Osier on iStock, Nowell Photo)
1. Limit screen time and give your brain a break
One of the many changes a new mom experiences is her sleep schedule.
New moms often find they can’t get the same quality of sleep they used to.
Women are often told to rest when their babies are sleeping, but Keeley suggested a slightly different approach.
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“The funny thing is, when a mom has her first baby, everyone always says, with good intentions, ‘Sleep when your baby sleeps,’ but when you actually do that, other things just don’t fall into place, you feel overwhelmed, and it feels like things are falling apart around you,” Keely told Fox News Digital in a video interview.
Instead, Keeley says people should limit the time they spend on activities like scrolling on their phone and prioritize rest instead.
“First-time moms need time when their brains aren’t actively making decisions,” Keeley explains. “The mom brain suffers from decision fatigue, and the easiest way to have that buffer time without making decisions is to open your phone and scroll. Sometimes you can be on your phone for an hour without realizing it, when your brain just wants a big sigh of relief.”
Keeley suggested that new mums should try to limit their use of their mobile phones as much as possible and use that time to get sleep instead. (iStock)
Keeley suggested having a set bedtime and going to bed as soon as that time is free. This way, new moms may find that while they still don’t get enough sleep, they still have enough time to function, she noted.
2. Embrace the new normal
Your daily life will be completely different before and after your baby is born, and you’ll likely be feeling a mixture of emotions.
“It’s not just a new lifestyle, it’s a new brain,” Keeley says. “What people don’t understand is that after giving birth, a woman’s brain changes both anatomically and cognitively.”
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Instead of working against your brain, adopt new habits.
“We need to learn how to embrace the new normal and how to use our brains,” Keeley told Fox News Digital.
Keeley and her husband are the parents of seven children. (Desiree Oshie for Nowell Photos)
When setting up a new routine, Keeley recommends keeping it simple and flexible.
“I think the first routine you try to establish as a new mom is what I call ‘booking in,'” Keeley said, noting that this means setting up a very simple morning and evening routine for herself.
These routines don’t have to be overly complicated: Keeley explained that your morning routine could be as little as five minutes writing in your journal or sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air.
Keeley noted that a simple evening routine might include packing out an outfit to wear the next day.
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Celebrate the small successes as you set up your routine. If you create a long list of things to do as a new mom, you’ll end up feeling disappointed when tasks never get completed.
Instead, choose small, easy tasks that focus on you and your happiness, like taking some deep breaths through mindful meditation or reading a chapter from your favorite book.
Don’t make a long list of things you have to do as a new mom. Instead, come up with small tasks that you can accomplish each day. (iStock)
3. Not trying to balance things
While balance is a common goal for new moms, it’s not something you should strive for, Keeley said, adding that if you don’t have balance in your life, you’re not growing.
“If we’re going to embrace growth, change and movement, we have to stop obsessing about and trying to achieve balance,” Keely explained.
She also advised new mothers to embrace the idea that nothing has to be normal at this stage in their lives.
“Sometimes it feels like everything in new mom life lasts forever, but the reality is, new mom life is only temporary,” Keely continued. “So be compassionate with yourself and tell yourself that nothing has to be normal. If you want to be cooped up at home with your baby for three days straight, give yourself permission to do that. When you’re ready, you can reach out, engage, and establish a new routine, but there’s no need to rush anything right now.”
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4. Allow yourself to set boundaries
Adding a baby to your family is an exciting time for everyone. Family and friends will want to visit.
Don’t feel pressured to always say yes: When it comes to setting boundaries, Keeley says new moms should use the concept of permission.
If your mother does not want you to visit for a week, she can write that on the figurative permission slip.
Keeley points out that this concept can be difficult for many new moms because they want others to like them, but try to let go of wanting everyone to be happy for a moment so you can really focus on your own and your baby’s needs.
Sometimes new moms need some alone time to bond with their baby, so as a new mom, don’t be afraid to give yourself that time. (iStock)
“Imagine if you could tolerate your people-pleasing personality for the first month and not let her make the decisions,” Keely says. “Let’s be honest, people-pleasing is just a passive way to manipulate others so you don’t have to feel guilty about your choices.”
5. You don’t have to accept all the advice that comes your way.
New moms may receive unsolicited advice.
There’s a lot of information out there – from family, friends, the internet – and if you take it all at face value, you’ll undoubtedly feel overwhelmed.
Ultimately, there is no secret to motherhood. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one mom may not necessarily work for you.
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While the advice of others can be important in some situations, carve your own path.
As a new mom, you don’t have to take every piece of advice that’s thrown at you – find what works for you and trust your instincts. (iStock)
“Understand that the heart is good. For example, people who want to give you advice think they are helping you. They think they are serving you. So it comes from a place of love,” Keeley said.
Additionally, when deciding whether or not to accept advice from others, Keeley says you should always look at their life and consider whether it’s a life you would like to live.
“If I don’t like their life, I don’t follow their advice,” Keeley says. “If I don’t like the relationship they have with their kids, I don’t follow their advice on how to raise my kids. If I don’t like their marriage, I don’t follow their advice on how to treat their husband.”
6. Get outside in some way every day
As a new mom, don’t overlook the importance of the sun on your skin, the grass under your feet, and the fresh air flowing around your body.
“One of the things that moms don’t realize and desperately need is to be in a place that has no walls and no ceilings,” Keely told Fox News Digital. “If you think about it, new moms are often confined to their homes, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but we start to compartmentalize our thoughts, we start to think small, we start to think in more limiting ways, and that often leads to overwhelm, anxiety and in some cases depression.”
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Keeley encourages new moms to spend at least 15 minutes outside each day.
Whatever method you choose, spending time outside with your baby every day will help keep both of you healthy.
