“My body, my choice.” This phrase has become sort of the unofficial motto of the Millennial generation.
While it’s often associated with abortion, it more broadly reflects the legacy of the sexual revolution for Millennial women. A recent example of this is the buzz around the Cornell university fraternity incident and comedian Shane Gillis’s joke about workout attire on Saturday Night Live (SNL).
There seems to be a connection between a college student’s accusations against fraternity members and Gillis’s comments on how revealing gym clothes are. It’s not necessarily highlighting the feminist argument about the male gaze undermining women’s empowerment or that men need to be viewed as potential threats. What stands out is the reaction to Gillis’s joke compared to how the individuals involved in the orgy at Cornell are labeled. When women, like the one in the Cornell incident, make choices in a public or semi-public space and then react negatively to those choices being acknowledged, it suggests they are not actually empowered by what they’ve done. Claiming victim status in these situations feels like a telling sign.
It’s quite fascinating to observe how women process their feelings. By asserting that their sexuality isn’t their responsibility, they shift the discomfort of inherent shame from within themselves onto those who notice or comment. Rather than considering if their feelings of unease relate to their decisions, the blame is redirected towards men, whom they perceive as the aggressors. Whether it’s Gillis’s commentary on skimpy gym wear or the actions of the fraternity members, the real issue seems to be those who notice.
It’s unlikely that the women involved would openly acknowledge that their intense reactions stem from experiencing shame. Admitting that would mean recognizing that the sexual revolution did not serve women as intended. The rapid response of women posting photos in minimal clothing at the gym to “defy” Gillis, alongside how quickly others labeled the fraternity guys as violent, indicates that shame is still very much present. They may have rebranded it as empowerment, but it appears that their self-reflection has transformed into a defensiveness of, “You should not have noticed,” rather than, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Less than a week later it seems every woman online wanted to prove me wrong Guys please wear clothes to the gym it’s not that hard https://t.co/eq3OeUeQj5
— Allie ✞ (@allie__voss) October 12, 2026
Text messages and timelines from the Cornell incident indicate that the woman involved was aware and accountable for her actions. However, upon realizing her involvement was gossip-worthy and consequential, particularly when the fraternity excluded her from a future event, she encountered shame. Instead of managing that shame through introspection, she seemed left with no choice but to adopt a victim mentality. This has become a modern form of seeking redemption.
The sexual revolution promised women an escape from traditional constraints on their sexuality while offering greater independence and less psychological fallout. Yet, just because the movement succeeded in alleviating some immediate moral panic around questionable choices, it doesn’t mean it addressed the deeper truth that sex is fundamentally meant to bind a husband and wife.
Sex creates a connection between two individuals. At a superficial level, it’s physical, yet the emotional ties run much deeper. Society may try to ignore the sacred nature of sex, but the consequences of such denial inevitably surface. Shame, whether acknowledged or not, will find a way to manifest.
There’s a reason traditional marriage is often labeled as dull or restrictive. It actually offers a freedom from the psychological struggles often associated with the free love movement. Marriage shifts the dynamics of casual encounters or multiple partners, nurturing intimacy between two individuals. While it doesn’t erase shame entirely, it does mitigate the type of shame the sexual revolution claimed would vanish. The reality is that the revolution could not fulfill such promises because it mainly led to overt public sexuality and a parade of sexual partners, both of which often generate shame. Now that the pillars of marital exclusivity have crumbled, the fallout is more profound and painful. This explains why women might feel resentful towards those who notice that their so-called empowerment often feels more like a trap.
The exclusivity of marriage provides a level of freedom that the sexual revolution never truly offered. The misguided promise of free love has had severe repercussions. Typically, it’s those in committed marriages with children who find the most happiness. There’s a certain beauty that comes with dedicating one’s life, both mentally and physically, to another person. Perhaps as society continues to navigate these complex issues, there will be a return to previous values that once held meaning.
Follow Mary Rooke on X: @MaryRooke
