Tense Reflections on a Former Friendship

Rosie O’Donnell, now 63, recently shared her thoughts about her past fallout with Ellen DeGeneres, 67, which dates back more than two decades. During an appearance on Kate Langbroek’s podcast, “Unfiltered,” O’Donnell discussed the moment DeGeneres publicly came out on her sitcom, “Ellen,” in 1997, which she described as a significant but threatening development for her as someone not yet open about her sexuality.

At the time, O’Donnell was hosting her own daytime talk show, and she felt a strong desire to support DeGeneres. “I didn’t want to leave her alone,” O’Donnell said, emphasizing that it was vital for her, as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, to stand by DeGeneres during such a pivotal moment.

Before the episode aired, both women shared their plans; DeGeneres joked about her character’s potential to “be Lebanese,” and O’Donnell embraced the humor in it. “Everyone who was gay at home got that,” she added, recalling the shared understanding in their community.

However, O’Donnell also reflected on the insecurities she felt back then, sharing that while her show was successful—having won Emmy Awards—it felt like DeGeneres’s moment could overshadow her own achievements. “It struck me as a threat,” she said, recalling her internal conflict. Yet, despite these feelings, she wanted to support DeGeneres.

As time passed, their friendship began to unravel. O’Donnell recounted a painful moment when she was watching DeGeneres on “Larry King Live.” King prompted DeGeneres about the status of O’Donnell’s show, which was soon to be canceled. The response, “I don’t know Rosie. We’re not friends,” stung deeply for O’Donnell. She described it as one of the hardest moments of her career, and her disbelief lingered even years later.

“I couldn’t believe it,” she sighed, sharing a memory of a photo of them together from years prior. “We’d known each other for so long, and then to hear that… it was like a knife,” O’Donnell said. Despite her attempts to reach out, there was no follow-up from DeGeneres. “We don’t look alike, and we certainly don’t feel alike,” she remarked, highlighting their emotional distance.

O’Donnell noted that after “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” began in 2003, she wasn’t contacted for a long while, despite the familiarity of the production team. “I thought perhaps she could have handled things differently,” she mused, wishing for a stronger show of support instead of distancing.

Reflecting on her own motivations at that time, O’Donnell concluded, “I wanted my show to succeed and perhaps could have used some solidarity. Instead, it felt like the opposite happened.” She also mentioned her feelings of hurt resurfacing after recalling their history on another podcast, where she described the experience as painfully significant.

While she wishes DeGeneres well in her life, O’Donnell acknowledged that the rift remains. Reflecting back, she stated, “I hope she has all good things… but it’s tough to really move on from that hurt.” The “Ellen DeGeneres Show” itself aired for 19 years, ending in 2022, and DeGeneres has since stepped away from public life, relocating to the UK with her wife, Portia de Rossi.

In light of recent controversies surrounding DeGeneres, O’Donnell expressed compassion but also voiced the importance of authenticity. “You can’t fake who you are,” she said, emphasizing the need for genuine connections.

As for O’Donnell, she’s carved out a new beginning for herself and her family, moving to Ireland in search of safety and a fresh start for her non-binary child.