They stood up in their dozens from across Florida to lampoon the contestants in tank tops and cutoffs, treating the showdowns like evading police and beer-drinking wrestling as Olympic events.
Billed as the “craziest athletic showdown on Earth,” the Florida Man Games involve brawls, drinking, gunfights, reptile scuffles, and other antics that could land you in jail or intensive care. He makes fun of the state’s reputation with bizarre stories.
The game began on Saturday with an electric guitar rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Then, behind metal barricades, beer cans were sipped as spectators cheered and frequently cheered as more than a dozen teams competed in a contest inspired by real-life events in America’s most surreal state. was yelled at.
James Gordon of DeLand won the first event by eating a plate of barbecue pork and sausage just a split second faster than his closest competitor. He chugged beer to celebrate.
“I’ve lived in Florida all my life,” Gordon said after washing the sauce off his hands and beard. “They call these ‘events.’ (Expletive) I’ll call you Tuesday afternoon.”
At one event, participants dueled in the muddy waters of an inflatable pool, hitting each other with weapons made from pool noodles and duct tape. Another was the Theft Simulation His Relay, in which competitors raced with his two bikes, copper pipes, and catalytic converters.
Larry Donnelly practiced for a relay race by riding around his neighborhood with a second bike strapped to his back. It paid off on Saturday, when he won his heat after riding with his bike in each hand.
“I have a total disregard for self-preservation. I’ll do anything,” said Donnelly, 42, who owns a pressure washing business in St. Augustine and is captain of the five-man team “Hunky Spanky.” Told. “I did a little alligator wrestling when I was in the military.”
Other events saw participants wrestle sumo-style while holding pitchers of beer, and evade real sheriff’s deputies by jumping over fences and dodging obstacles. Some faced scrambling for cash flying through hurricane-like winds.
Spectators paid more than $45 in real money per ticket to see the game at Francis Field in downtown St. Augustine. Yusuf El Shihibi said he and his wife traveled 180 miles from Port St Richey “to see this act of stupidity on the grandest, most spectacular scale.”
Organizer Pete Melfi said he expected more than 5,000 tickets to be sold. He said he was stunned to learn that no one else could beat him with an idea ripped from the headlines of a parody sporting event.
“In a sense, we’re giving people the opportunity to live a day in the life of a ‘Florida Man,’ without ever getting in a police car,” said Melfi, who runs St. Augustine’s media. 904 now. But getting permission required toning down some of the more racial aspects of the “Florida Man” myth.
“Commonly it’s drugs and nudity,” he says. “But the city frowned when I asked for drugs and nudity.”
The “Florida Man” phenomenon permeated the national conscience thanks in part to a Twitter account started in 2013 with the handle @_FloridaMan. The account promotes “true stories of the world’s worst superheroes,” with news like “Floridian bites dog to ‘establish dominance'” and “Floridian tried to pay for McDonald’s with weed.” shared the headline.
The claim that Florida is the strangest state goes back even further, says the author of Oh, Florida! How America’s strangest state influences the rest of the world. ” He noted that the first flag, flown over the Capitol in 1845, bore the motto “Let Us Alone.”
Apparently no one was listening. Florida currently has 22 million residents, making it her third most populous state among US states. And they all share roads, beaches, and timeshares with more than 130 million tourists a year.
“When you pack that many people together, you’re bound to end up hitting each other’s cars and chasing each other with machetes,” Pittman said.
Pittman pointed out that there are also a lot of crazy articles about women in Florida, many of whom came to watch Saturday’s game.
Sally Yarbrough and her daughter Danielle Yarbrough received tickets and a case of vodka as Christmas presents from their boss.
“I wish more women would come here like we did,” Danielle Yarbrough said. “We’re always the only ones making noise.”
Saturday’s only women’s event was the Florida Ma’am Pinup Contest.
Lori “Ice” Fetrick, a former contestant on the 1990s show “American Gladiators” and a Florida Man Games judge, said things should change if the games continue. .
“Personally, I believe we need the Florida Women’s Games,” Fetrick told the crowd, who cheered in approval. “Or it might pit women against men.”
By Saturday, Joshua Barr and his Cooter Commandos teammates posted videos of the three chugging Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and jogging in jean shorts and mirrored sunglasses on Facebook. He spent his time gathering support from fans. Their team name comes from the type of turtle that their hometown of Inverness celebrates.
The Commandos didn’t stop at online promotions and badmouthing rival teams.
Barr, a 37-year-old film critic and podcaster, said he also printed T-shirts, temporary tattoos and a large custom flag to wave on the field.
“We may be taking this issue more seriously than a lot of people,” Barr said. “At this point, you’ll have to join in the joke.”
